When he was president, Lyndon Johnson liked to tell the story of the young man back in his native Texas who tried to find a job during the Depression.
The young man thought he might become a teacher. In due course, he was interviewed by members of the Blanco County school board on Johnson's native turf. One of them, a country preacher much set in his ways, asked the applicant whether, assuming he should get the job, he would tell students in his geography classes that the Earth was flat or round?"I can teach it either way," he said.
LBJ sought to make the point that, no matter what, some people remain firmly wedded to odd beliefs. So if you want to get ahead in life, particularly as a politician, LBJ held it was best to stay flexible.
That Johnsonian credo could be applied to the Republican-led drive to balance all income and outgo from the U.S. Treasury by the year 2002. The Republican dealings with the Democrats, who hold veto power over the plans, have about as much in common with reality as the beliefs of the Flat Earth Society.
Treasury Secretary Robert Rubin says his forecasters cannot tell him how much money might be flowing into the public till a year from now, much less in 2002. So if the economy booms, many of the cuts the GOP seeks to make in social services wouldn't be needed - unless, of course, the party's true agenda is to shrink the size of the federal pie.
On the other hand, if the economy falls, tax revenues would fall and the drain on such semiautomatic stabilizers as unemployment insurance would soar. In such an event, many lawmakers might ditch their current notions of a balanced budget, at the pain of losing their own jobs.
In 1610, the astronomer Galileo found the four brightest moons that circle the planet Jupiter, thereby showing that the sun sat at center of our solar system.
This finding did not sit well with the local church hierarchy of the era, who feared it might undermine their struggle with the fledgling Protestant order. So the cardinals issued a decree ordering Galileo to neither "hold nor defend" his doctrine, although he could allude to it as mere "mathematical supposition."
The laws of celestial mechanics let U.S. scientists send a 2.5-ton spaceship named after Galileo on a six-year, 2.3 billion-mile trip to Jupiter. The rules of Washington politics decree that hell will have to freeze over before politicians here once again approve $1.6 billion for an astronomical voyage that draws back the curtain of the universe.
That's OK. For less than $10, it turns out that you can now have an outfit called Prayers Heavenbound digitize your personal message and beam it into the vast beyond in the form of radio pulses.
My $10 message, in case anyone out there is listening, is please don't try to visit this place until our authorities wise up a little. Each one of them could begin by acknowledging that our political universe is, in truth, made of many worthy stars. You, dear leader, are but one.