Sir: I live in California, so I'm curious as to why Los Angeles Airport is called LAX and San Francisco Airport is called SFO. What do the "X" and the "O" stand for?

- Jean S.Answer: I consulted a veteran pilot on this question, and he said the "X" and the "O" don't stand for anything. It's just that three letters are required, he said, so the "X" and the "O" were added. That sure sounds fishy to me. Does anyone have a better answer?

Sir: You started this Tom Swifties business, so I've worked up a few more. Try these on:

"I'm going to invent a non-alcoholic whisky," said Tom dispiritedly.

"I left the 7 and 10 pins," said Tom sparingly.

"If you lend me $10,000 today, I'll pay you back $10,000 five years from now," said Tom disinterestedly.

"We're going to tear down those barricades," said Tom defensively.

"Should I get that shot in the arm or elsewhere?" asked Tom hypothetically.

"You didn't do a very good job of polishing my car," said Tom lacklusterly.

Had enough?

- Charles L.

Answer: Enough. Not even two more, said Tom despairingly.

Sir: A recent article I read referred to "the person whose suffered." Shouldn't it have been "the person who has (or who's) suffered?"

- E.P.

Answer: Sure should. I understand they now have machines you just talk to and they print out what you say. Probably that stupid machine heard "who's" and thought it was "whose."

Sir: With all confidence in your ability and goodness, I now ask you to tell me the one word used to describe a lull in conversation.

- R.B.

Answer: I hate to confess that I don't know. Help, anybody!

WORRY OF THE WEEK, by Pierre C.:

"My newspaper printed the following classified ad under the heading MUSICAL MERCHANDISE: `Free to good home, 2-year-old female collie/shepherd, Call (Name).' That's all! Not one word about what key she barks in or if her tail works as a metronome!"