President Clinton was a big hit last month in Canada. He has always loved the place since he almost moved there in the '60s.

- China promises to stop pirating our movies and CDs. This is part of a trade agreement that classifies the film "Dumb and Dumber" as intellectual property.- China will punish any violators by forcing them to watch the stuff they have pirated.

- Newt Gingrich's plan to give computers to the poor is forcing them to relocate to steam grates that are closer to electrical outlets.

- Regarding the alleged CIA spying activity in France: It's nothing personal. The CIA has to keep in practice, so why not do it where the restaurants are better than in Moscow?

- Mark Russell