Dear Abby: This is for "Elderly but Able, Gainesville, Fla." - the 70-year-old gentleman who didn't want to give up driving his car and thus his independence:
Please reconsider. Why wait until you've hurt yourself, or someone else?My beautiful 23-year-old sister, Kim, was walking through a parking lot last spring when she was struck by a car traveling backward at high speed. It swerved, throwing her 10 feet farther into a guardrail. The 74-year-old man driving the car was disoriented and confused. He didn't even know he had hit her and continued driving until he ended up in a storefront!
Kim was rushed to a hospital where her head was shaved and a hole drilled into her skull to relieve the pressure from the swelling of her brain.
The doctors told us she could die. It was horrible. Thank God, Kim survived. That was eight months ago. She now suffers from post-traumatic stress syndrome and depression. She also has short-term memory problems and has lost her sense of smell.
However, all is not grim. She continues to improve and recently became engaged.
So to "Elderly but Able," please, sir, your children love you and know you well; if they tell you it's time you quit driving, believe them. They are probably right.
Abby, if you print this, you may use my name.
- Diana Radford,
Pepper Pike, Ohio
Dear Diana: I appreciate your letter. And thank you for allowing me to use your name.
Dear Abby: I have been nesting with the same rooster for 12 years, but he does not want to get married. He won't even talk about it!
He had a very bad marriage the first time around, and he's "commitment-shy." Outside of that, he is kind, loving, and we intend to be together 'til death do us part.
What's more important, Abby - a piece of paper, or a commitment of the heart?
- Happy in Love
Dear Happy: Commitment is very important, but that "piece of paper" is equally important. Ask any lawyer.
In some states, after "nesting with the same rooster" for a specified number of years, the couple is considered legally married. Ask a local attorney if common-law marriages are recognized in your state.
Dear Abby: My ex-sister-in-law is getting married in a couple of months, and my daughter, who is 9 years old, will be a junior bridesmaid. She will be walking down the aisle with her father, who is also in the wedding.
Abby, I am not on friendly terms with that family. They don't speak to me, and I don't speak to them.
Do I have the right to go to the church and take some snapshots? Or should I just not go at all?
My family says I have every right to be there, even though I haven't been invited.
My daughter thinks I ought not go since I was not invited.
What do you think I should do?
- Hurt and Out in the Cold
Dear Hurt: I agree with your daughter. Since you are not on speaking terms with the bride, I would advise you not to go to the wedding.
As a member of the wedding party, your daughter will probably be given pictures, and her father could take some snapshots for you.
Dear Readers: A very wise Frenchman said: "Beauty is a gift. Charm must be cultivated. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me."
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)