While most Gingrich supporters in Washington agree that there is no such thing as a free school lunch, there is sharp division on how to eliminate it.
Some Republicans want to dump the program and give block grants to the states. This school lunch proposal is known as the "Tofu To You" plan.Still others think that the children should be made to pay for their meals in order to get any fulfillment out of them.
Darth Vader, one of the top advisers to Gingrich, has come up with an idea that has tremendous appeal on Capitol Hill.
"We want to turn the school lunches into political fund-raisers. We would charge the kids 50 cents a plate for the meal. Twenty-five cents would go for the food and 25 would go to our Political Action Committee."
I admitted that it had some merit but wondered how Darth planned to implement it.
"We would supply speakers from Congress to talk to the students while they ate their lunches. The congressmen would discuss ethics, morals and their constitutional right to bring assault weapons into the classroom."
"My concern is that the children have been getting tofu for nothing for so long that they may not want to pay for a political fund-raiser," I said.
"They need to learn to participate in the political process in order to have good government. If they complain that they don't want their allowances to go to Gingrich's PAC, we'll throw in a second helping of applesauce for dessert. This country cannot afford a school lunch program and Haiti at the same time. I have talked to my colleagues in the House on this subject."
"Do you believe the real reason that Gingrich wants to abolish federal school meals is that he never had one when he was a kid?"
"No. It's the price of the meal. For this country to remain solvent, we have two choices: We can stuff meatloaf into the stomachs of hungry children today, but their children will be saddled with the debt for years to come. Or we can say, `Enough is enough. If you're hungry, McDonald's has a $2.30 special.' "
"That's tough love if ever I heard it."
"We're not forcing them to turn their lunch periods into fund-raisers. But if the kids start giving their money to the PACs, they will be able to lobby for any kind of lunch program they want, and for the first time politicians will listen to them."