Dear Abby: About five years ago, you had a letter in your column from a teacher who taught economics in a high school. The letter explained in a humorous way the various types of governments throughout the world. Will you please try to find it and run it again? I need it for a speech.
- No Name, Please
Dear No Name: Here it is:
Dear Abby: I teach government and economics at Grant High School in Van Nuys, Calif. This is a belated thank-you for one of your columns. I have been using it for years to explain the difference between communism, socialism, capitalism and a few other "isms." My students love it.
- Barbara Halpern, Van Nuys
Dear Barbara: Thanks for your thank-you. I'll run it again for others to enjoy. Here it is:
Dear Abby: A friend gave me these definitions of the various forms of government, and I thought you might want to share them with your readers:
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and sells you the milk.
NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both your cows, then shoots you.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes both of them, shoots one, milks the other, then pours the milk down the drain.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one of them and buy a bull.
Abby, what happens in a democracy?
- Mrs. J. McC.
Dear Mrs. McC.: In a democracy, everyone has two cows, then a vote is taken, and whatever the majority decides to do, you do, and that's no bull!
Dear Abby: I am a 12-year-old girl. My birthday is next month, and I can't wait. I'm looking forward to being a teenager, but more than that, when I'm 13, adults won't think of me as a "little kid." Most adults think when you are 13 you are more responsible than you are when you are only 12, but actually, you aren't.
It makes me angry when adults assume that I'm irresponsible because I'm a "little girl." (Some of the teenagers I know act like 2-year-olds.)
Please publish my letter, Abby, so adults will know how people my age feel when we are treated like "little kids" when we are not.
- Nicole Quintero,
Dear Nicole: You appear to be very mature for your age, but please don't be in a rush to grow up. People have only a short time to be children, but a very long time to be adults.
Dear Abby: While I was watching television recently, I saw a black-and-white picture of Babe Ruth flashed on the screen accompanied by the following comment: "Babe Ruth - one of the all-time greats of baseball. To this day you hear his name, as he had a candy bar named after him."
Wrong! The Baby Ruth candy bar was named after President Grover Cleveland's infant daughter - NOT the baseball star.
- Cindy Adams, San Diego
Dear Cindy: Very interesting. The advertising agency that came up with the promotion struck out on that one.
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