In the case of Tom and Elaine Adams, every day together during the early years of their marriage was precious.
At that time, Tom was a weapons systems operator in the U.S. Air Force and was expecting orders that would uproot him from his young family in Idaho and send him to Vietnam."So we treated each day as if it were the last," said Sister Adams."
Brother Adams went on to fly more than 200 missions during the war. He returned home, and along with his wife, helped rear five children while being transferred 17 times during his military career.
"It doesn't seem like our lives were anything unusual," Brother Adams said. They now live in the Dawson Hollow Ward in the Kays Creek Utah Stake in Layton.
Military life places unique strains on a marriage, Brother Adams explained. Extended tours of duty, the concern for a loved one in combat, the disruption to family and friends with each transfer, the challenge of changing parental roles during the absence of a spouse.
After nearly 39 years of marriage, the strains of military life have molded a marriage where they "put each other first," Sister Adams said.
The power of prayer, the priesthood, following the counsel of the brethren to hold family home evening and studying the scriptures were also key ingredients in their happy marriage.
"Each day starts and ends in prayer," Sister Adams said.
Brother and Sister Adams also found that the way they converse with each other either draws them together or drives them apart. "I remember one day telling Elaine that her car was a mess," Brother Adams said. "She shot back, `Well, your truck is no better.'
"We sensed what was happening. So we stopped, looked at each other and started to laugh. "We decided to try the conversation again.
"I said, `Your car is usually immaculate. What happened?
"She said, `Yes it is.' " What started as contention, suddenly became an opportunity to unify feelings.
Their philosophy for marriage - and life - is demonstrated in the way they approached each military transfer. When it would have been easier to live recluse lives and spare the sorrow of leaving friends - which inevitably comes with each move - the Adams went looking for ways to participate.
"Each time we moved, the first thing we did was to look up the Church, then find ways to work in the community," Brother Adams said. For Sister Adams that meant using her musical talents and serving as choir director in each ward where they lived. For their five children that meant participating in community activities such as theater.
Life for Brother and Sister Adams is a steady diet of involvement, whether it's a Mia Maid activity, preparing ice cream for a ward social or stake meetings. Through it all, they find joy "working as a team."
"If love keeps growing, you are always concerned with your spouse's esteem," Brother Adams said.