Marriage, for Bill and Ilene Critchfield, is no joking matter. But it does give good cause to laugh.
"We love to laugh," said Sister Critchfield. "We laugh until we cry. Then we . . . laugh harder."The Critchfield's courtship began in high school and continues today as they serve a mission in the Arizona Phoenix Mission. Laughter, for them, has been the medicine of their lives.
Their philosophy for a happy marriage, after 48 years, includes the melding and harmonizing of their uniquenesses.
Sister Critchfield, for instance, will prepare a Relief Society lesson by reading numerous books on the subject. The books soon become scattered across the dining room table - sometimes several deep - forcing them to eat at the kitchen counter.
Brother Critchfield, on the other hand, finds his best thoughts by drawing on the inspiration of the moment, whether that is a war story about capturing a machine gun nest, or a discussion of priesthood government.
"We have different spiritual talents and gifts that we use to help each other," Sister Critchfield said. "I like to read a lot, that's the way I learn. He can give a talk in Church by drawing on the depth of his experience."
Their current mission has opened new avenues of experience for them to grow together. Unlike in their home in Provo, Utah, they are adjusting to their one-bedroom, one-bath, small-kitchen apartment. "Except for the 850 spiders, this is like our first apartment after we were married," Brother Critchfield said.
"He grew up in a home where men had their responsibilities, and women had theirs," Sister Critchfield said. "This mission has helped us work together in new ways. Bill has now learned all about washing dishes."
Another ingredient in their happiness stems from doing those things together that both enjoy. "We are both sports-minded," Sister Critchfield said. "We've been on bowling teams together. We love to golf."
As the family grew and their children played different sports, Saturdays became a day of shuffling children from game to game.
"I remember one day when our children were young," Brother Critchfield said, "we had one child playing baseball on one diamond at a complex, and another child playing on another diamond. We positioned ourselves between both and ran back and forth as the action happened."
The Critchfields also credit the nightly routine of kneeling together at their bedside to offer prayers. "We hear each other thank Heavenly Father for the other's attributes - which is humbling. You know they still love you," Sister Critchfield said.
Through the thick and the thin of their lives, one common thread has held them together. "We have within us the knowledge that there is a higher plain we are striving to attain," she said, "and we don't allow this lower plain to deter us."
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ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
Points to ponder
Helpful hints for successful marriages derived from lives of three couples featured in this week's Church News:
- Show respect
- Speak kindly
- Say thank you
- Pray together
- Do things together
- Laugh together
- Avoid criticism
- Consider feelings
- Study scriptures
- Stay close to Church
- Work as a team
- Put each other first
- Be gracious
- Have family home evenings
- Don't raise voice