Life, for Jim and Jane Pugsley, is a pleasant walk down a country lane.
In the heat of the summer or in the chill of the winter, they walk. They walk passed cornfields, grazing cows and ripening melons. They walk in the name of good health.Their hand-in-hand walks were part of Brother Pugsley's rehabilitation plan following a heart attack suffered one Sunday afternoon in January 1993.
Curiously, two years later in January 1995, Sister Pugsley suffered the same nature of heart attack. Neighbors jokingly said the heart attack was the result of sympathy pain, a coincidence of being in love and doing everything together.
Beyond the health benefits, their time strolling together through the farm lands of northern Utah has added luster to their marriage. "The walks have been a close time together, a time to talk," Sister Pugsley said. "We seldom finish sentences though," Brother Pugsley said. "Either we know what each other means, or the other finishes the sentence."
After nearly 37 years of marriage, the Pugsleys have developed a marriage where they are patient, kind and show respect to each other. But to the members of the Tremonton 9th Ward in the Tremonton Utah South Stake, where Brother Pugsley serves as bishop, they are known for their graciousness.
"We try to always say thank you," Sister Pugsley said, a habit cultivated early in their marriage.
"I remember when our family was young and meat was expensive," Bishop Pugsley said. "To watch our pennies, Jane tried a recipe for meatless meatloaf that was made out of peanut butter. I could tell it was made of peanut butter," Sister Pugsley added, "the children could tell it was made of peanut butter, and Jim could tell it was made of peanut butter. But he was the only one to finish his portion and say thanks afterward. Although, he didn't ask for seconds."
They do the little things that make the big difference in marriage, like prayer, date nights and family home evening.
But one thing they vigilantly guard against is raising their voices or being critical of each other. "It's never necessary to raise your voice," Sister Pugsley said. "It only hurts."
In retrospect, they say their close relationship comes from, at least in part, two experiences.
"We lived in a small trailer when we were first married," Brother Pugsley said. "We spent a lot of time together, talking and making plans for the future. Our attitude was to make our marriage work. We would do everything we needed to do to make it last."
The second marriage-shaping experience also came early in their marriage. Burying two of their four children within three years was a time that actually brought them together when it could have easily driven them a part.
"We have known tragedy," Sister Pugsley said. "It was tough, but it brought us together because we knew how each other was feeling." In the end, the pain they felt for their loss, plus the pain they felt for their sorrowing spouse, deepened their commitment toward each other. "That's when the Church really became important. A good bishop and good home teachers rallied around us with support."
A short time later, Sister Pugsley received a calling. "I remember walking into Church for the first time to teach Primary, and feeling that this was where I belonged, and where I would stay," she said.