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The 18-year-old man who died in an exchange of gunfire with police on Monday was suicidal because of stress, said his widow.

Mandy Stanfield believes her husband, Michael, may have shot at two Layton SWAT team members because he wanted to die. "He was a very sad person," said said. "He had a lot of turmoil and we don't know where it came from."Stanfield was killed outside his trailer home after firing at least one shot at officers, who responded to a call from Mandy Stanfield after her husband fired a shot in their home.

"In my mind, I know they did what they had to do," the 18-year-old widow said of police officers Allen Swanson and Quinn Moyes. "In my heart, I will never forgive them."

Mandy Stanfield said her husband was under stress from trying to work and care for a sick wife and 8-week-old daughter, and still saddened by an unstable and abusive childhood.

She said in an interview Thursday from Michael Stanfield's grandparents' home in Coos Bay, Ore., that she called police on Monday because she wanted to get help for Michael.

She disputes police claims that she told them her husband would kill police who came to their home. She said she told them that she feared he would kill himself. The emergency dispatch tape, played for reporters on Monday, was not clear enough to discern which account was accurate.

She said Michael Stanfield was under tremendous stress before his death.

After the birth of their daughter, Mikaela, on Dec. 18, Mandy Stanfield was bedridden with health problems, including walking pneumonia. Michael Stanfield had to care for her and their baby while working as a part-time truck inspector for J.C. Bangerter & Co.

On Monday morning, Mandy Stanfield said, she had to pour water on Michael's face to wake him up to go to work.

"It's like he wasn't even himself," Mandy Stanfield said.

She said Michael Stanfield grabbed his gun and shot into the bathroom, where she was bathing Mikaela. The bullet bounced off several surfaces and went though the door, but missed her and the baby.

Before that morning, Mandy Stanfield said she and her husband had only one violent fight in their two-year courtship and marriage. But she decided to call police.

"I wish I never made that call," she said. "At one point I said to myself I have to stop being Michael's wife and start being Mikaela's mother."

Mandy Stanfield said she was shocked when she learned of her husband's death.

She said police told her that they would arrest him and get him help.

"They promised me he would not die," she said.

Mandy Stanfield said friends and family are still trying to piece together what went wrong in her husband's life.

She said Michael had been abused when younger and had watched his parents divorce, remarry and divorce again.

He lived in Coos Bay most of his life and moved to Moses Lake, Wash., when he was in high school. The couple met there, when Mandy, who was raised in Brigham City, moved to Moses Lake with her family.

They married in Coos Bay in August of 1994 and moved to Utah to raise their daughter. She said Michael Stanfield planned to drive a truck for a living but also talked about joining the Marines and was finishing his GED.

"We were just in love for no good reason," Mandy Stanfield said.