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INTRIGUE, MYSTERY ARE BIG LURE FOR OTHERWISE DUD OF A BOOK

SHARE INTRIGUE, MYSTERY ARE BIG LURE FOR OTHERWISE DUD OF A BOOK

Washington has many worries. The one that is causing us tremendous anxiety at the moment is who wrote the book "Primary Colors," which is supposedly based on the lives of the occupants of the White House.

While critics tell us that it is not exactly "War and Peace," that is not the issue. The fact is that Washington now has a secret almost in the same class as "Deep Throat," and residents inside the Capital Beltway can't stand the idea that some "Anonymous" person is hiding something from them.It's ironic that the suspects who may or may not have written the book are not exactly household names. Here are just a few of the people who have been mentioned: Joe Klein of Newsweek, Chris Buckley of The New Yorker, Mandy Grunwald of Clinton's staff, speech writer Bob Shrum and John Buckley of the Federal National Mortgage Association.

Now everyone knows that you would have to go to the Missing Persons Bureau to find any of these people. This is one of the things that makes Washington such an exciting place to be. Here we not only worship famous people but also ones that nobody has ever heard of.

Give us a puzzle and we go ballistic. Keep us out of the loop with the word "anonymous" and we'll drop everything to expose a publisher's lousy secret. We do, however, lose interest the moment the fox is brought to ground. Let's say, for example, we discover that Mike Boychik is "Anonymous." Up until this moment the book has been a best-seller, but once the name of the author is known, nobody in his right mind is going to buy it.

From a literary point of view it is fascinating to see that many people who have never written a book are being given credit for writing "Primary Colors." On the basis of just being mentioned as a suspect, the writers on the list have been able to triple their literary advances.

I'm positive I know who wrote it based on the style and fingerprints. You don't have to look any farther than the White House. First daughter Chelsea is the author. She knows more about her parents than anyone else, and like most teenagers she's ready to talk.