An excerpt from a Burns and Allen routine from the 1932 film, "The Big Broadcast." (An office: Allen is the receptionist, Burns the boss.)
Burns: Gracie, if anybody calls for me, I'm out. I'm not in. I'm not coming back. I'm closing up. I haven't any money.Allen: Oh, Mr. Burns, why don't you go in business with my brother?
Burns: Which one, the half-wit?
Allen: No, the older one.
Burns: Oh, the big fellow.
Allen: Yeah.
Burns: What does your brother do?
Allen: Well, he's making money.
Burns: I mean, doing what?
Allen: Well, he's in the manufacturing business. He manufactures money.
Burns: Why, they make money in Washington.
Allen: That's why he has his factory in Cleveland.
Burns: Your brother is a counterfeiter. He's a cheat, an embezzler, a forger.
Allen: Oh, Mr. Burns, if you're going to start using a dialect, nobody'll understand you.
Burns: Dialect? Gracie, if anybody calls for me, I'm out.
Allen: And my brother isn't going to make that old-fashioned money, either. . . . Now take my brother's pennies. It's going to cost my brother four cents to manufacture every penny.
Burns: Four cents.
Allen: Yeah.
Burns: That way he's only making three cents profit.
Allen: Well, you must admit that's not bad for a start, is it? And my brother's nickels, they're not just nickels. My brother's nickels, you open up and there's a powder puff inside.
Burns: You open up and there's -
Allen: Yeah.
Burns: That way, he's killing two birds with one stone.
Allen: That's very good, but I like the one about, early to bed, early to rise makes you healthy and wealthy, and wealthy and healthy.
Burns: And healthy.
Allen: And wealthy.
Burns: Thanks very much.
Allen: Yeah. And now wait till I tell you about my brother's dimes. My brother's going to have square dimes.
Burns: Square dimes?
Allen: Yeah, so they won't roll away.
Burns: Sure, because a rolling dime gathers no moss.
Allen: I still like the one about early to bed and early to rise makes you healthy and wealthy, wealthy and healthy. And now wait until I tell you about his five-dollar bill. His five-dollar bill can be used as a picture frame. If you don't like Lincoln's picture, you can take it out and put in the other president, you know, the one who freed the slaves.
Burns: What I'd like to know is, how do I allow myself to get mixed up into these things?
Allen: Oh, Mr. Burns, you're never serious.