"I will always be an Oakland A," says Dennis Eckersley, who isn't one anymore.
He's a St. Louis Cardinal now, along with everybody else, it seems, who ever wore an Oakland uniform: Tony La Russa, Dave Duncan, Rick Honeycutt, Todd Stottlemyre, Mike Gallego, Mike Moore, Willie McGee, Jeff Parrett, Scott Hemond - Cardinals all.Among them, only Eckersley's departure was emotionally wrenching for A's fans. You can get only so attached to a manager or a pitching coach and, as for the others, they weren't good enough or around long enough to break your heart.
But, with Eck, it was different. With Eck, it hurt when he left in a trade for minor league reliever Steve Montgomery.
It hurt Eckersley, too. As much as he wanted to leave, as much as he needed to leave, he couldn't help thinking about the fans he was leaving behind - one in particular, one who had attended just about every home game since Eckersley, an East Bay boy, joined the A's in 1987.
"I feel sorry for my Dad," says Eckersley. "I mean, he's Mr. A. Now what's he gonna do? He and my Mom, they've been going to 80 games a year forever. For the last nine years, that was their whole social life."
It wasn't easy for him to leave. Nor was it easy for him to come to this St. Louis team. In fact, Eck had little interest in joining the Cardinals until one night in November when he bumped into La Russa at an East Bay restaurant.
To that point, Eckersley believed, as many of us did, that LaRussa hadn't made the greatest move, that he'd settled for St. Louis when the jobs in Baltimore and Chicago closed up on him. But then came this chance meeting at an East Bay restaurant, and Eckersley listened to La Russa, heard the excitement in his voice, as he talked about his new team and the new town.
There is a lot of pressure on La Russa in St. Louis. The new owners spent a lot of money on him and his coaching staff and the players they wanted.
And, then, after they'd gotten him Ron Gant ($25 million), Andy Benes ($8 million) and several others (several more million), La Russa brought more pressure to his situation by asking ownership for one more guy - a 41-year-old relief pitcher whose ERA and save percentage (down) have been going in the wrong direction for three years.
Eckersley feels that pressure, knows that La Russa put himself further out on the limb by getting him. La Russa, of course, doesn't see it that way at all.
"Two reasons," he says. "Physically, as a closer, Eck hasn't had any arm problems. Number two - and most important - he's not ready to retire. He didn't like the way he finished the month of September. He's real motivated to show people that he's still Eck. You put that down with his arm and his experience, and my guess is Eck is going to be anywhere from good to great. The worst he'll be is good."
Last season was not so good, maybe his worst. Eck finished with a 4.83 ERA (his third consecutive year above 4.00) and he blew nine saves in 38 chances (his third consecutive year below 80 percent efficiency).
People close to Eckersley say he was pitching under duress the second half of the season (when he had a 7.17 ERA), deeply affected by two events. First, his agent, Ed Keating, one of Eckersley's best friends, was diagnosed with cancer.
Second, Dave Stewart retired.
Eckersley attended Stewart's farewell news conference and he cried, for Stew and for himself. He knows the day is coming for him too, and soon.
But not yet.
"I know I'm not done," Eckersley says, pointing out that he had stuff enough to convert 18 of his first 19 save opportunities last season.
About this season and the pressure he will be under, Eckersley steals a line he heard La Russa say recently: "I'm scared, but I'm not afraid."
Would fans turn on him? Eckersley did, however, fear how A's fans might react to his desire to be traded. Would they think him a traitor? A spoiled millionaire like all the others, another professional athlete who, in the final analysis, cared only about himself?
Eckersley doesn't know how A's fans feel about him now; he only knows that he had to go.
He had to go to have a chance at winning, a chance of getting back into the postseason. He had to go because at this stage of his career, he needs a manager who knows him, who knows just how to use him, who'll stick with him through the tough times. He had to go because he feared ending up like Stewart, forced to hang 'em up in mid-season, the fire gone out.
So he went, always an Athletic in spirit.
"I made my mark as an A," Eckersley says, "so I'll always be an A. Those were good years, great years....I never thought I'd say anything (good) about management, but the Haas family, they were awesome. I'll always remember how well I was treated."
So, when he goes into the Hall of Fame, he'll go in wearing an A's cap?
"If I get there," Eckersley says, smiling, "I'll wear whatever they want me to wear."