Pam Young and Peggy Jones, authors of the book "Get Your Act Together," used to find basic housekeeping a complex concept akin to quantum physics. Chaos ("Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome") reigned in their homes and in their lives until one day - June 16, 1977 - they made a vow to reform and devised a program that even the worst slobs can master - a plan, they say, that allows time for guilt-free living.
Young and Jones, who are sisters, have often been introduced as the slob sisters (actually, reformed slob sisters). But since they have gotten feedback from people that the word "slob" is too harsh and that it conjures up a vision of dirty, smelly people who spend most of the time propped in front of a TV set, they now designate "SLOB" as an acronym in which S stands for spontaneous; L stands for lighthearted; O stands for optimistic; and B stands for beloved. Now, if you view yourself as a "slob" - meaning you are in a mess all the time - it is because you are such a fine person and merely need to learn some simple techniques for organizing your life (isn't that a nice redefinition?).Now, the slob sisters are not addressing their book to people who are prompt and efficient. These naturally born organized people "have five- and 10-year plans; they floss, make lists and actually do the stuff on the lists. They don't run anywhere, look for anything, arrive late or forget birthdays. They have low cholesterol, IRAs, cash in their wallets, milk in the refrigerator and high-fiber cereal in the cupboard, and they were all born on their due dates!"
No. This book is for people who are "deficiency experts" - people who have "the congenital tendency to be locked out, left behind and overdrawn." These people are also victims of premature evaluation who go off on organizational binges with great energy and enthusiasm, only to end up with one more discarded clutterbuster to add to their stash of gadgets and papers.
Say the slob sisters: "We suspect that you have a lot of organizational tools around the house: filing cabinets, shoe trees, stacking bins, pen caddies and mail organizers. But instead of satisfying your organizational needs, these tools just loom like lighthouses in a sea of clutter and chaos, beaming rays of accusation that you didn't follow through." And, "maybe you have a diary, photo albums, weekly planners and calendars that are blank or only partially filled out. Perhaps you bought a rowing machine, stationary bicycle, NordicTrack, Thigh Master or Gut Buster, but you're not rowing, biking, tracking, squeezing or busting. In fact, your exercise has probably been limited to hauling all that equipment from the attic to the driveway for a garage sale every couple of years."
As the No. 1 authorities on "housebreaking the disorganized," the slob sisters (among the other ample advice they offer) strongly recommend getting rid of those stashes in your home that are squirreled away behind those closed drawers and secret hiding places. "The clutter factor in your home is in direct proportion to the state of your closets, cupboards, drawers and hiding places," they say. "If you want to get and stay organized, the starting place is there." The main reason houses are disorganized is because there is too much stuff. Straight from their mouths are suggestions regarding some of the stuff they recommend discarding:
- Magazines. Ask yourself, "Do I ever read my old magazines," and if the answer is "never," bundle up your collection of unread material and throw it away or recycle it.
- Newspapers. Our rule for keeping newspapers is simple. Don't (unless you need one to start a fire in your fireplace.
- Pens. Test every pen by scribbling in a circular motion on a scratch pad, and if the ink doesn't release, throw the dead pen away.
- Instruction manuals. Throw away your instruction manuals to simple appliances like toasters, blenders, mixers and coffemakers, unless you think you are going to forget how to use them.
- Coupons. Dump all the coupons in your drawers because they will have expired. If you find any coupons with dates more than a year old, you lose your cutting privileges until your whole house is streamlined.
- Paper grocery bags. Keeping grocery bags is very dangerous! We have discovered that they have babies while they are under the sink and in between the counter and refrigerator. Keep, say, five sacks at one time and, if you are environmentally conscious, invest in reusable net grocery sacks for small purchases and larger grocery-bag-size sacks.
- Odd socks. Odd socks are like lonely hearts. They need mates, and they won't find them as long as they are shut up in the odd-sock drawer. Send them out to meet all the other odd socks in the world by giving them (and the problem) to a goodwill store.
- Packaged parts. These are the little screws, nuts and bolts that manufacturers so kindly include with new products that live on long past the time you'll ever remember what they go to. Dump them! In the future, write on the package what the parts belong to and put them with the tool box.
- Maps and brochures. Maps get outdated because new roads keep being made. If you find a map that is frayed on the folds and threatens to fall apart if you open it, it's time to throw it out before you get lost.
- Remember that crafts are always changing. If you do crafts, you know that cows are in one year and mushrooms are in the next. There is nothing more depressing than to have to finish last year's clown when everybody else is doing ducks. Be brave. Get rid of the old so that you can make room for the new.