When the Senate finishes its Whitewater hearings, the distinguished gentlemen should begin hearings on caring and doing good. You say, "Williams, that's the strangest thing we've heard; what do you mean?" It's a matter of serious importance. After all, Congress spends trillions of dollars on do-good and caring programs. All that spending threatens national solvency. So we should find out whether mandated caring and doing good are all that important.
Like millions of other Americans, I own a car, which I think is a very good thing. The question is: How did this very good thing happen to me? Was it because Detroit workers and bosses cared about me? My guess is that they don't care about me and might hate me on sight, but nonetheless, they produced a car for me.Like millions of Americans, I have a computer. That is a wonderful thing. What's more, computer producers are making me happier and happier as they provide me with products that do more and more, faster and faster, and become cheaper and cheaper. Again, how do we explain this doing good? Do IBM and Microsoft's Bill Gates care about me? I'll bet my entire fortune that they don't care whether I live or die. Moreover, I'm going to bet that if we had congressional hearings on caring, Detroit, IBM and Micro-soft workers and bosses would testify that they care much more about themselves than about Williams. That leads us to the crux of the matter: How can all of this uncaring and selfishness produce so much happiness for me?
Here's the mystery: Government schoolteachers profess love and caring for the nation's children. The result is that among industrial nations, our kids are just about the worst in reading, writing and arithmetic. Each year, schools become more decadent and violent and tax-pay-ers are gouged more and more. Thus, the congressional hearing question is: How is it that educational caring produces disastrous outcomes while uncaring in the computer industry produces world-class miracles? I don't have the intelligence of Congress or schoolteachers. But it would appear to me that a solution would be for Congress to enact a law requiring educational uncaring. The education establishment should treat students just as computer manufacturers treat their customers.
Another hearing question might focus on trillions spent on caring by the Housing and Urban Development Department: How is it that in the face of mega-caring, HUD becomes the nation's, if not the world's, largest slum landlord? En route to this achievement, HUD destroyed whole neighborhoods in the name of urban renewal (read: removal). It demolished flop houses, compounding homeless problems for bums and hobos. And when poor people try to improve their lot, through resident management, and try to toss out drug dealers and prostitutes, HUD, assisted by the ACLU, thwarts their efforts. Again, it would seem that a congressional order for the cessation of caring might be a good idea.
Without question, the parts of our lives that give us the greatest satisfaction are those where providers of goods and services make no pretense of caring for us. Those areas where we have the greatest dissatisfaction and complaints are those where providers profess saintly caring and selflessness.
Since congressmen profess the greatest caring, that might explain the economic mess they've created for our nation.