A lack of close relationships early in life more than doubles the risk for aggressive behavior, says Dr. John Constantino, a child psychiatrist and pediatrician.

Aggression is like intelligence, he says. Most of a child's patterns are set by the time the child turns 5 or 6 years old, and it is increasingly difficult to change behavior after that, says Constantino.Constantino, an instructor at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, made the comments in a recent annual Parents as Teachers international conference. The international organization, headquartered in St. Louis, provides information and support to parents of children from birth to age 5.

Constantino says environmental influences affect the structure of the brain, the number of neurons and connections. Other researchers also have found that parents who talk, read and sing to their children are going beyond sharing warm, fuzzy feelings. They are helping their children's brains form.

"So much happens in terms of brain development early in life," says Constantino. "The earlier the intervention, the bigger the effect."

Constantino is one of five scientists at Washington University working with parent educators in a three-year project to help parents learn the latest in brain research.

Constantino says that children learn from their earliest relationships. If, for example, he says, a child learns that seeking comfort from a care-giver is associated with pain or rejection, the child will be less likely to seek relationships with others later in life.

A combination of genetic and environmental factors seems to determine violent behavior, and signs indicate a secure attachment to someone in the first few years of life protects a child from developing abnormally aggressive behavior. And a parent teacher can make a difference by encouraging a parent to become more sensitive to the child's emotional signals, Constantino says.

Parents can make a difference with their children, whether toddlers or teens, just by "hanging out" or spending unstructured time with them, agrees Elizabeth Crary, an author and teacher from Seattle.

Crary says neither toddlers nor teenagers were likely to open up unless their parents spent some time with them. And she says children seek attention with bad behavior if they can't get attention with good behavior.

She offers five points for healthy parenting: avoid problems, encourage cooperation, acknowledge feelings, set limits and teach new skills.

One of the most powerful tools in dealing with a child is the "two yeses," Crary says. For example, if a child jumps on a sofa, instead of saying `no' the parent can give two `yes' options: sit on the sofa or jump on the floor.

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Or, if a teenager wants to use a car that a parent plans to use, instead of saying "no" the parent can offer two "yes" options: drop the parent off or take the bus.

Crary says the '90s present challenges to parents, who often find their lives becoming more stressed. Children are slow and disorganized by nature. And yet stressed, busy parents expect children to dress fast, eat fast and get in the car fast to get to day care.

"Most children need or want interaction with a parent more than the material things a parent works to buy," says Crary. "There is something to be said for moving back to a more simple life."

(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service)

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