Question: How can a teen minimize the pressure "to fit in"?
- Yana, 18
Answer: From Sandra Bowers, Aaron Bratcher, Mike Jones, Christina Laquidara and Lacey Stein, the National Journalism Scholars Academy at the Peddie School, Hightstown, N.J.: All teenagers at some point feel a great amount of pressure to join a particular social group. Appearances, behavior and attitudes almost always determine inclusion into these groups. In other words, to be considered "in" to a particular group at school, a student has to dress, act and appear to think in a manner that is approved by the rest of the group.
Our advice to those who are feeling this pressure is simply to stand up for yourself. You have to be comfortable with yourself before you can fit in with anyone else.
Also, avoid falling into a clique. Having good friends is great, but a clique often takes this a step too far and keeps you from making other friends. Fortunately, after you've found a group that likes and accepts the real you, most of this pressure will seem to drift away magically.
Answer: From Pat Schudy.: It's pretty unrealistic for most people - no matter how old they are - to do away completely with peer pressure. It's normal to want to be accepted by people you like and admire. Ask yourself these questions:
Do I genuinely like and admire the way a certain group talks, behaves, dresses? Or do I like the fact that what they do seems to make them popular? Would I have to seriously change what I like to be and do and value for them to accept me? Is it worth it?
Update: About weighing less: If you want to get rid of extra pounds, Jodi Klaassen has two suggestions. Jodi is a clinical nutrition specialist at Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, Mo. She spends a lot of time working with high school students who are concerned about their weight.
She advises avoiding a lot of sugar-filled drinks, including juices. "You can pick up 1,000 to 1,200 calories a day just from what you're drinking." Her other suggestion: Walk (not run) at a brisk pace for 30 to 45 minutes every other day. It's one of the best ways to get rid of stored-up fat.
Talkback: From Allannah in Colorado: I'm a teenage girl. I have an opinion about cops also. They risk their lives every day, work odd, long hours, and then on top of all that they are made fun of and are disrespected mostly by teenagers. I mean, you don't see grown adults going around calling out rude remarks to cops, do you?
I know there are some cops out there that are prejudiced, but cops aren't the only ones. If you're going around disrespecting cops just because they pulled you over for - most of the time - something you did, then you're just as bad as they are. You're getting mad over something you yourself did. What would you learn if cops always let everybody get away with everything?
What's up: For Parents - "It's Nobody's Fault, New Hope and Help for Difficult Children and Their Parents," by Harold S. Koplewicz, M.D. ($25, Times Books).
According to research quoted by the author, there are 7.5 million children and adolescents in the United States with diagnosable brain disorders. "That's roughly 15 million parents who feel guilty about it." He says they don't need to, that the cause for these learning and social disorders lies in the brain the person has inherited.
The psychiatrist describes symptoms and treatment options for various disorders that affect children and teenagers, including ADD, severe shyness, major depression, anorexia and bulimia. "The good news," he says, "is that there is a lot we can do to treat the problems that genes can cause in our children."