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Marx Brothers run the White House

Despite what you read in the newspapers, the White House isn't as well organized as people think.

I discovered this when I asked Daniella Zalcman, "Who runs the White House?"She replied, "The Marx Brothers. They're all over the place and nobody knows where they'll pop up next. Remember when Hillary Clinton's files turned up on a third floor desk?"

"I remember it well."

"Groucho discovered them. The FBI had been searching everywhere, but the White House denied that the time sheets existed. So while Groucho was hiding behind a curtain smoking a cigar, he spotted the file and turned it over to the president's lawyers."

"Was the president mad?"

"No, because as he has said, time and time again, a found file is better than no file at all. You have to understand that the White House is a very large building and no one can keep track of anything that goes on there."

"Has Zeppo been in on any of the discoveries?" I asked Daniella.

"No he hasn't. He's in charge of making coffee for visiting dignitaries. The White House has a lot of people drop in on the president, and almost all of them expect a decent cup of coffee. Zeppo's coffee is famous throughout the Far East."

"What about Chico?"

"Chico is in charge of supplying quarters to Vice President Gore whenever he wants to make a telephone call. Every time Chico runs out of coins, he kicks the telephone and money comes tumbling out. He also amuses the White House staff by pulling quarters out of his ears."

"So that only leaves Harpo."

Daniella said, "Yes. Harpo holds the most important job in the White House because he has to keep his mouth shut when anyone asks a question about fund raising. He's appeared in front of seven congressional committees so far and whenever they asked him a question about who slept in the Lincoln Bedroom, he began to play his harp."

"Did the Marx brothers have anything to do with the coffee videos?"

"They actually found them before anybody else did and this made the president furious because he wanted to give them personally to Janet Reno."