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Breakfast habits revealed!

In an effort to convince consumers to embrace the value and taste of bagged rather than more pricey boxed cereals, Malt-O-Meal surveyed 1,000 cereal lovers by telephone. The results:

What do you do with the remaining milk after eating a bowl of cereal?

- Men were twice as likely as women to slurp the milk out of the bottom of the bowl.

- Women were twice as likely to feed the milk in their bowl to a pet and three times as likely as men to throw the milk away.

- One out of every 10 Americans feel compelled to pour more cereal into the bowl to deal with the remaining milk.

You poured WHAT on your cereal?

- Although milk is the most popular liquid to pour over cereal, some consumers confessed to dousing their breakfast cereal with orange juice, chocolate milk, pudding or syrup, catsup, hot sauce, ice cream, maple syrup, water and soda pop. Strangely, beer made the list.

When asked to reveal the most annoying or amusing cereal-eating habits they've endured:

- One in four cereal lovers protested about eating noises, including friends and family members who chew cereal with their mouths open, slurp, crunch and smack.

- One of every 10 complained about the annoying ways that cereal is eaten in their home. The worse techniques were people who eat cereal with their fingers or with chopsticks, mix different cereals together, eat it dry, pour coffee over cereal and pick the marshmallows, raisins or specific colors out of the bowl.

- Other objectionable cereal habits involve the inability to simultaneously consume both liquids and cereal - dribbling milk down their chin, and pouring catsup or hot sauce on their cereal.

The act of adding strange things to breakfast bowls should be called cereal murders.

Spam forever

The Internet tells us how versatile SPAM is:

- The coolest wall spackle around.

- Tastes like a wet dog smells.

- Makes me feel all warm and squishy inside.

- Seals the holes in my canoe very well.

- tan sing at

Food for thought

A gourmet is just a glutton with brains.

- Phillip W. Haberman, Jr., in Vogue

(1961 - )