What's about to happen with Marv Albert isn't surprising.
It's somewhat sickening, but it isn't surprising.Albert, who entered a guilty plea to reduced charges of assault less than two months ago in the midst of a trial for sexual assault - a trial in which when his extremely dirty laundry was being aired - is about to launch himself on a self-promotional TV tour to rehabilitate his public image.
You know the routine. It's been used by enough stars and/or celebrities in the past. After experiencing some heinous public humiliation, the celebrity takes to the airwaves and tells us his or her side of the story - putting the best possible spin on the situation.
(Albert's publicist is already telling reporters that his client is in therapy and learning a lot about himself. And, apparently, he's able to say this without activating his gag reflex.)
The celebrity tells us that he/she is very, very sorry, that he/she is receiving help for his/her problem and that he/she just hopes the public will be understanding.
The really scary part of all of this is that, more often than not, rather than a collective national upchuck the public tends to be extremely forgiving in the face of this form of public "penance." Think Hugh Grant. Or Robert Downey Jr. Or Michael Jackson. Or even Oprah Winfrey, explaining away her use of crack cocaine.
The Marv Albert Redemption Tour launches on Friday, when the disgraced (for now) sportscaster is interviewed by Barbara Walters on ABC's "20/20."
Gee, do you suppose he'll cry as he bares his soul to Babs and the nation?
Then it's on to CNN and "Larry King Live" on Monday, Nov. 10. And we all know that King will toss Albert softball questions and lend a sympathetic ear.
Finally (for now), not-so-marvelous Marv is slated to appear on the Wednesday, Nov. 12 edition of CBS' "Late Show with David Letterman." Albert, of course, has been a frequent Letterman guest, appearing on more than 100 installments of the "Late Show" and its predecessor, NBC's "Late Night with David Letterman."
Letterman is not in the business of asking tough questions of anybody, and he certainly won't do it with Albert. For that matter, he hasn't even told any jokes about the bizarre sexual habits of the former sportscaster - jokes that were a staple to Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien.
On the one hand, you can give Letterman some credit for not doing so, what with his previously close relationship with Albert. Loyalty is such a rare thing when it comes to television.
But on the other hand, you have to wonder just how desperate Letterman has become for ratings to provide Albert with this forum.
The same, of course, can be said of Walters and King.
The thought of Albert out there trying to redeem himself in the eyes of the public is almost as stomach-churning as the testimony at his trial.
KJZZ SHUFFLE: UPN is reshuffling its prime-time schedule on Wednesday night. So is local UPN affiliate KJZZ-Ch. 14.
Unfortunately, they aren't both doing the same shuffle.
The pseudo-network is switching the running order of its two Wednesday shows - "The Sentinel," which had been airing before "Star Trek: Voyager," will now air after it.
But while UPN intended that its affiliates in the Central and Mountain Time zones air "Voyager" at 7 p.m. and "The Sentinel" at 8 p.m., Ch. 14 isn't going along. KJZZ will, instead, shift the UPN schedule back by an hour - leaving "Voyager" at 8 p.m.; moving "The Sentinel" to 9 p.m.; and shifting the syndicated "Gene Roddenberry's Earth: Final Conflict" from 9 p.m. to 7 p.m.
You have to wonder whether this will leave all those Trekkers more confused or prevent confusion. Ch. 14's maneuver does leave "Voyager" in the time slot viewers have become accustomed to.
At the same time, Ch. 14 has aired dozens (if not hundreds) of UPN commercials that advertise a one-hour time shift for the "Star Trek" series - a shift that's not going to take place locally. Who could blame viewers who are somewhat confused by all of this.