Frito-Lay's recent purchase of Cracker Jack means only one thing.
It's the toys, stupid.The taste of the caramel-popcorn-peanut treat hasn't mattered since Borden, the brand's last owner, rolled out Cracker Jack Fat Free in 1995. Pa-lease. If we wanted to watch baseball and lose weight, ballpark nachos would never have been invented.
Unfortunately, the fun trinkets that were Cracker Jack's real draw have been gone for decades, biting the dust about the same time that regulation swing sets went from flat seat boards to cheek-winching rubber belts, all in the interest of safety. We haven't swung high enough since.
The prizes that first appeared in Cracker Jack in 1912 were tiny tin vehicles, animals and toys with sliding mechanisms. By the 1960s, the tin had given way to plastic, but the pieces were still marvels of snap-together airplanes, puzzles and trucks that taught children design and function.
But ingenuity gave way to safety concerns. Today the toys are heavy on paper and stickers - things that won't be mistakenly consumed, or hurt anyone who somehow manages to do so.
But what has happened is that Cracker Jack isn't getting consumed either. The brand is losing ground to Fiddle Faddle and Crunch 'n Munch - new-fangled interlopers on the caramel corn theme that don't include toys. It seems that brand loyalty has dried up along with the collectible toys.
Mom and Dad aren't biting on Cracker Jack because they know they could lose some bridge work. And they aren't buying the treats for Junior because the toys have become so deadly dull. These days even Spaghetti-Os include shiny stickers on the back of the labels.
Frito-Lay spokesperson Lynn Markley says that "Cracker Jack will always include a prize, and consumers can expect a big surprise" when Frito-Lay rolls out its first boxes of treats next year.