Being a woman in what is still very much a man's world has meant I've been the victim of sexism to varying degrees all my life. But, since I'm also a member of the racial majority in the community where I live, I haven't felt the effects of racial stereotyping - at least not personally and individually.

That is, until a couple of weeks ago.A black woman wrote to me after I'd written a column about Karl Malone and his complaints during contract talks. She assumed, because I am white, that I view black athletes differently, that I have a bias when it comes to the inherited abilities of black athletes.

She was offended by a sentence I'd written: ". . . (Malone) inherited some mighty rare and valuable genes."

She asked whether I would have said the same thing about John Stockton, or would I have just called him "smart," a label she said she once read he resents because it implies his wonderful athletic skills are just a minor part of his makeup.

"Do you think of `rare and valuable genes' at work when you see Mr. Stockton's thrilling play?" she asked.

Actually, I do, and I told her so. I said no athlete - of any race or either gender - makes it to the top of his or her game professionally unless blessed with a good deal of innate ability.

She didn't believe it. She said I should have qualified my statement when referring to a black athlete because the majority of white Americans believe that black athletes - not white, Asian, Indian or Hispanic athletes, just black ones - are born with superior athletic abilities.

She said further that "since the vast majority of your readers are white, when you make a statement about a black athlete's genetic makeup, you, unwittingly or not, have played into a stereotype that too many people are willing to accept."

Perhaps I'm totally naive, but it seems to me that to assume one white person carries the biases of other white people simply because they are of the same race is stereotyping. And isn't stereotyping and making assumptions about a person you have never met based only on their race evidence of racism?

I have no doubt this woman has suffered much more than I the effects of negative stereotyping. Being black and a woman would mean a double dose of discrimination in many situations. Life for a black woman must be often unfair and far too difficult.

But how does it help to assume there are biases and offenses when none existed or were intended? Is it self-defense? The best defense is a good offense?

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And how can Americans ever hope to overcome the divisions of race and gender if we make assumptions based solely on those criteria? Can the horrors of the past - slavery, lynchings, all forms of racial discrimination - be made right by refusing to believe not all whites are racists, by continuing to label all whites morally inferior based only on the color of their skin?

The Internet conversation between me and this Jazz fan left me with a feeling of hopelessness. Because I refused to "admit" to a bias I don't feel, she said she would no longer read anything with my byline.

She said people like me "who think you have open minds are much scarier to minorities than those who openly display their prejudices. At least they're honest."

Since she's no longer reading anything I write, she won't see this plea. But I can't resist making it. Please, don't make the same mistakes so many whites have made. There's still time for our generation to make a new start. Let's not assume we've lost before we've tried hard enough.

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