When microwaves were new, some people thought they were magic. Oh, the tricks of the microwave! You could curl your false eyelashes in the microwave, some said, or dry your pantyhose.
I remember calling Julia Child once to see if she used a microwave. "Only to dry out the wet newspaper," she replied.There was a lot of silliness until people figured out that microwaves are not magic and should not be used for some tasks.
Whether Julia does it or not, don't put the newspaper in the microwave to dry. You could start a fire, or ruin your microwave, or both. Forget the drying of the pantyhose or the cat, and the curling of the false eyelashes, too.
But now we have a new controversy: Is the microwave the best place to disinfect a wooden cutting board?
The Nutrition Action Newsletter suggested zapping wooden cutting boards for five minutes and cellulose sponges for 30 seconds to kill bacteria. The suggestion was based on a study by a microbiologist.
No, no, replied the president of a microwave consulting company. Heating wood on high power is dangerous and could start a fire. Furthermore, he said, the heat would be concentrated inside the wood and it could burst into flames after it was taken out of the oven.
To be safe, don't zap your wooden cutting board or sponges. Using a solution (1 cup of bleach to a gallon of water) is the easy, accepted way of disinfecting a cutting board. Cellulose sponges can be run through the dishwasher; put them in the small basket on the top rack.
As microwaves became more common, we also learned - sometimes the hard way - other tasks that shouldn't go into the microwave.
We can't cook eggs in shells. Steam builds up inside, and they explode.
Deep-fat frying is dangerous. The temperature of the boiling fat can't be controlled.
Angel food cakes, chiffon cakes and most souffles are not successful. Recipes that use egg whites as leavening need to be surrounded by dry, slow heat to set their characteristic structure.
Canning is not advisable. The necessary boiling temperature of 212 degrees to ensure killing all bacteria cannot be adequately maintained.
Paraffin can't be melted in the microwave. It has no moisture, so it won't absorb energy to melt.
The microwave should never be operated empty. Some people keep a glass of water in the microwave, so if it is accidentally turned on, no harm will be done.
We've also learned unusual, non-food jobs the microwave can perform. For example:
Moist towels can be heated to use as a hot compress. Or heat moist finger towels when you're having barbecued ribs or lobster. A little lemon or other fragrance on the towels is nice.
Plates can be warmed. Sprinkle a little water on each one, stack them up, and zap a minute or so for each plate, or until warm. Dry the water off before using.
Wooden spoons can stay in food while it's microwaving, ready for stirring. Microwaves will attack the food, not the wooden spoon.
A wet tea towel, with lemon or soap added, can be zapped until steam covers the inside of the door. As soon as it cools enough to be handled, use it to clean the inside of the oven.