WE LIVE IN AN increasingly cautious society.
We are warned that smoking cigarettes can cause lung cancer, drinking alcohol can cause birth defects and eating junk food can cause you to swell up to the size of the Goodyear blimp.When we were children, our mothers warned us not to run with scissors and not to cross our eyes lest they stay like that the rest of our lives. Presumably, these warnings resulted in a decrease in scissor-related injuries and crossed-eye-ism, though I have to admit I haven't seen any definitive research on the subject.
My question is: Have we gotten to the point where we warn people too much about too many things?
A slip of paper attached to my son's new electronic game said, "Warning! Battery Could Be Harmful If Swallowed!"
Do we really need to be told this? How many people are there out there who look at a four-pack of Double-A Energizers and say to themselves, "Mmmmm. Snack"?
Even the natural food nuts haven't gotten to the point where they're thinking of supplementing their diet with a daily fistful of mercury-based hearing aid batteries.
I realize that babies and small children will swallow everything and anything, up to and including furniture and medium-size pets. But if your child did swallow a battery, you wouldn't just sit there and say, "Oh, isn't that cute! Little Timmy just sucked six D-cells out of my flashlight!"
I saw another unnecessary warning while playing golf the other day. "Warning! Area Irrigated With Treated Wastewater. Do Not Drink!"
You know, you're hot, you're sweaty, you've just sliced your third consecutive ball into the alligator pit. Wouldn't it be nice to kick back with a nice refreshing glass of treated wastewater? But no. The sign says you shouldn't do that. Spoilsports!
What if there was a sign that said, "Area Irrigated With Treated Wastewater! Drink Up!" Would people actually do it? Maybe. Golfers tend to be a trifle strange.
I got my prescription antihistamine refilled the other day. The instruction label on the bottle read, "One tablet daily. Take orally."
Whew! Thanks for clearing that up! I figured I was supposed to just suck the little bugger right up my nose for fast-acting relief. Or maybe jam it in my ear with the business end of a penlight battery. It would certainly never occur to me to swallow the thing. Yuck!
I suppose you can't be too cautious when it comes to safety, but if it is possible, traffic planners manage to do it. I have in my hand a list of 75 "Safety Thoughts" from the Community Traffic Safety Team. Some of the tips were good, such as the one warning motorcyclists to avoid driving down the middle of a traffic lane because the dangerous build-up of oil and grease dripped from cars and trucks.
Then there are the more obvious tips, such as "Never drive around a railroad gate!" and "Use sunglasses or sun visors when driving toward the sun."
Not me, pal. If I'm driving toward the sun, I just shut my eyes and don't stop until I crash through a railroad gate and smack into a passing train.
My favorite safety tip, however, is "Courtesy is contagious!"
It's nice to see that drivers in our area have found a cure for this affliction - perhaps large doses of prescription antihistamines or a light snack of nickel-cadmium radio batteries.
We can only hope that they remember to take them orally.