CYBERFOOD SITES

Prepare for the next big dining experience -- Christmas -- with some new stuff. Go to (cooking.com) for unusual holiday items. The site offers cookware, tableware, cookbooks and specialty foods. Sites such as this help overcome schlepping disorder.Or travel to Pillsbury Central www.pillsbury.com for a visit with the dough boy and his Dazzling Feasts section.

A bit exotic but fun is Epicurious http://food.epicurious.com/. Since we're feeling rather indulgent these days, the appetizer section is a mind (and diet) blower. Especially the recipe for Broiled Oysters with Hazelnut Pesto.

FOOD GIFTS

Being a devoted daughter of Archie McPhee and his mail-order ultra tacky items www.mcphee.com, we'd like to recommend some unique food-themed trinkets.

Spud Gun (2 for $5.75)

Some historians swear that the Irish potato famine was set off by the Potato Gun. McPheeans say that the ballistic wonder was originally introduced in the Great Vegetable Wars of 1788. The "soldiers of starch" were purported to have stuck the tip of the gun into a raw potato, broke off a small piece and pulled the trigger.

Burger Barbie ($4.95 each)

If you're too embarrassed to ask for a "children's" meal at fast food joints, now you can get all the happy with none of the artery-clogging meal.

These actual Happy Meal toys are indeed food icons - what a darling dashboard decoration.

Deluxe Rubber Chicken ($9.95 each - and worth every penny)

You wouldn't drive a VW Bug in the Indy 500, and you shouldn't attempt a chicken joke with anything less than a 100 percent Archie McPhee Deluxe Rubber Chicken.

HO, HO, WHOLE LOTTA COOKIES

No wonder he's jolly! Nearly 1/3 of Americans leave homemade cookies out for Santa Claus.

FOOD AND WHINE

In the January 1999 (!) issue of the trend-tracking Food and Wine magazine, they put several popular foods "In the Trash."

Outre is Mesclun (mixed greens are out and single greens are in)

Truffle oil is ta ta

Gigantic scones (hey! we disagree!)

Oversize servings of coffee

Squeeze bottles (for decorating plates)

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Angel-food-cake muffins

TERRIFIC TREND

A hot item is the Mandoline (for the shaved vegetables and hard cheeses that have been showing up in classy restaurants from coast to coast.).

No, you can't strum on this one.

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