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Rooming with gay man no joke

Dear Abby: I recently was on a sales trip with three colleagues - two females and one openly homosexual male. I am a heterosexual male. The two females roomed together and I was assigned a room with the homosexual male.

When I complained about this arrangement before the sales trip, my sales manager told me to get over it. I went along with the arrangement; however, I was very uncomfortable the two nights we spent in the room, although nothing happened except some mild kid-ding at dinner between all four of us.Since returning, I have been subjected to every joke you can imagine from others in the office, as well as this homosexual male. I have taken the stance that this will eventually be forgotten, but it seems to have taken on a life of its own.

I maintain that pairing me with this person was wrong, as it was the same as pairing me with a female, which certainly would never have happened. What do you think?

- Enough Already in New York

Dear Enough Already: I disagree. There is a misconception among heterosexuals that because a person is gay, that person will be attracted to anyone of the same sex. Nothing could be further from the truth!

P.S. Perhaps your company should inquire about a corporate rate, so everyone could have his or her own room.

Dear Abby: I hope you print my letter. I have seen so many letters in your column about what to give on special occasions.

When a person doesn't know what to give someone, gift certificates are the greatest. Most people just love them!

I've given gift certificates to a bride, a new mother and to a recent graduate. The recipients have told me there is always something they need that they did not receive. With the added expense of setting up a new apartment, a new baby or a student going to college - believe me - gift certificates were very welcome.

- Cathy in Council Bluffs

Dear Cathy: I agree; there's much to be said for allowing the recipient to choose something he or she wants. Gift certificates make dandy gifts for almost any occasion.

Dear Abby: I just finished reading your booklet, "The Anger in All of Us, and How to Deal With It."

I am 31 years old and learned more about dealing with my anger in the 20 minutes I spent reading your booklet than I ever had before. I got so much out of it.

Abby, I have been dealing with a lot of anger toward my parents (who are now deceased), my uncle and my grandmother. Your booklet helped me see another point of view that will, I'm sure, aid me in resolving my anger. Thank you for offering it to those of us who need help so desperately.

- Ronald in Garland, Texas

Dear Ronald: Everyone experiences anger; it's part of living. However, learning to control our anger in a mature manner so that it doesn't damage us or others takes insight, maturity and practice. I'm pleased that the booklet was helpful to you.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable - and most frequently requested - poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

1997 Universal Press Syndicate


All of the Dear Abby columns for the past several years are available online. Search for "DEAR ABBY" in the Lifestyle section and the Deseret News archives.