NAUGHTY NUTRITION
We surfed into the most bizarre Web site - and we must share. It's the LARD Home Page (Leftovers At Random Destinations).
Their mission is "to provide you with the very best online bulk (commonly referred to as food). They tell you . . . "have a good bloat."
While wrapped in this Web, you'll be able to visit a fridge full of decomposing food via the magical "Mold Cam," a state-of-the-mind camera that lets you watch strawberries rotting. Wonderful!
MORE LARD
The Lard Marketing Board lists 1,001 uses of LARD (Long-lasting Arterial Rupture Device). Try these on for thighs:
- For rock climbing, use lard instead of chalk for a more challenging adventure.
- Rub it into the scalp to create a curly coif.
- When you've drunk all the milk in the house, you can melt it down and pour it over your corn-flakes.
- Rub it in your joints to alleviate the pain of arthritis.
HEE HAW
The package reads: "The special food for the Chinese Sports Delegation in 26 Olympic Games."
What could it be?
How about SPICED DONKEY MEAT?
True. It's another Internet taste treat, described this way: "The meat is loved by consumers for its special flavor, pure taste, tender meat, sterilizing with high temperature, markable effect of keeping fresh, long guarantee period and convenient carry."
And the meat manufacturers promise: "Looking it makes your mouth watering. Eating it lets you aftertasting forever."
Was something lost in the translation?
NOT TOO LATE TO CELEBRATE
An important food fact always gets overshadowed by Valentine's Day. . . . FEBRUARY IS NATIONAL POT ROAST MONTH. Mark your planner; next year instead of mushy greeting cards, you can delight your love bug by tasty prose - " Roses are red, pot roasts are brown . . . "
WHAT'S THE MEANING
A LA FLORENTINE: French for "in the style of Florence (Italy)," - referring to dishes that are presented on a bed of spinach topped with Mornay sauce. A "Flor-entine" dish is sometimes sprinkled with cheese and browned lightly in the oven. The Italian term is alla Fiorentina.