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Woman is heartbroken when divorced man needs `space’

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Dear Abby: I'm 32 years old and in love with a man I met six months ago. The problem is that I'm not sure he cares about me.

He has recently gone through a tough divorce that hurt him deeply. His ex-wife was the first and only relationship he has ever had.Things were going well for us until a few months ago, when he told me he "needed his space." We got back together, and then about a month after that he began to slowly slip away from me again. Each week he would distance himself more, until one day I received a letter stating that he felt we were not meant for each other.

I love him so much, Abby. I keep hoping he'll change his mind and come back to me, because at work he still has a picture of the two of us on his desk. Does this mean something?

- Heartbroken in Vermont

Dear Heartbroken: I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but the timing couldn't have been worse for the two of you to have met. A man who is fresh out of a tough divorce from a wife who was his first and only love has many issues to work through before he settles down to another serious commitment.

The fact that he still keeps a photograph of the two of you on his desk means that the association is a pleasant one for him. But you're ready to get serious and he's not. So keep looking.

Dear Abby: I'm a senior in my 70s, and I have a theory about why women outlive men. At any senior center that has exercise, line dancing and aerobic classes, you are lucky to see one or two men participating. The women are as happy as hens in a barnyard - dancing, exercising and giving each other hugs. I am one of the few men in the classes, and at times I'm the only man.

As I leave the classes, I notice men in the reading room sitting a mile apart with their noses buried in a book, while their wives help each other stay healthy both physically and mentally. I think the isolation and loneliness of men kill them before their time.

- Fast Eddie, Garden Grove, Calif.

Dear Fast Eddie: That's a keen observation. What's astonishing is how easy it can be to reverse those unhealthy habits. Following a regular program of moderate exercise and relieving stress by communicating with others in a social environment should not only add years to men's lives, but make those years more enjoyable.

Copyright Universal Press Syndicate



All of the Dear Abby columns for the past several years are available online. Search for "DEAR ABBY" in the Lifestyle section and the Deseret News archives.