DENVER, Colo. -- Antonio McDyess is in Los Angeles -- and it's not even April.
It's not even Christmas, which makes McDyess' whereabouts all the more preposterous.But he's not alone in La-La land.
You'd think the Denver Nuggets played in the NFL, what with all the playoff talk they're spouting. A basketball team that exceeds the .500 mark every millennium or two is already doing advance scouting.
When McDyess checked the Western Conference standings and saw his Denver Nuggets in the eighth and final playoff spot and the Los Angeles Lakers in the first, he went running for Nick Van Exel. If the season was over, McDyess told the former Laker point guard, the Nuggets would be in L.A. -- and not just for a Clippers game.
"We'd rather play the Lakers than the Spurs or Portland," said McDyess, partly kidding, partly serious, fully insane.
"You know I'd love it," Van Exel said.
The affair has started early, and not just with Los Angeles, whom the Nuggets have beaten in two of the past three meetings. Denver is in blind love with the notion of postseason play, a foreign concept in Colorado for the last five years.
Forward Popeye Jones constantly consults a sports pager to check on the Minnesota Timberwolves, who sit in ninth place, just one slot below the Nuggets.
"The eighth spot is between us and Minnesota and I think it will remain like that the rest of the year," Jones said.
The Nuggets aren't just analysts, they're pundits, too. While Jones predicts trades Minnesota might make, head coach Dan Issel formulates theories on the most likely contenders for that final playoff place.
And he's come up with . . . Denver.
Issel's formula gives a point for every road game won and subtracts one for every home game lost, sort of like calculating a hockey player's plus/minus. Minnesota, he said, was a minus-4. The Nuggets were even.
He smiled, as though he couldn't believe what he was implying. And yet, he believes every bit of it.
Yes, the Pepsi Center has turned into the twilight zone -- the Nuggets are actually in the lead for something. And they're taking every opportunity to tell you. A team that once said it "could" make the playoffs and then said it "should" make the playoffs now believes it "will" make the playoffs.
They aren't looking for anything more. Ask McDyess about moving into higher spots -- occupied by Phoenix, Sacramento, Seattle, Utah, Portland, Los Angeles and San Antonio -- and he's nonplussed. The Nuggets are fine where they are, playing eight-ball.
"As long as we stay there, I'm cool with that," McDyess said.
Watching SportsCenter at home, McDyess gets off his couch to pull against Minnesota, Houston and Dallas. He winces when Kevin Garnett jams. He delights in Rockets road losses. You'd think this was a real race, right down to the end of something other than December.
"I'm always hoping (Houston, Dallas and Minnesota) lose so we can make a big margin between the eighth spot and the ninth," said McDyess, howling at his own silliness.
This craziness is his coach's fault. After a Dec.3 loss to Orlando, Issel talked about losing grasp of that final playoff place. He sounded like a kid whose toys were being borrowed -- for a day.
Even the rookies are engaging in child's play. During games, Denver forward James Posey will look up at the scoreboard, just to see what everyone else is doing. Scoreboard-watching is as traditional as the back-door pass, but not now. Not before winter has even started.
"We have to take care of our own business and hope we get some help from everyone else," said Posey, sounding like he's still lobbying for an NCAA Tournament bid.
Posey can be forgiven, if only because his body is probably telling him the season is ending. But this is no college schedule. The Nuggets have a brutal February and March, on the road more than the rodeo. That's when the critics say they'll fall off this ridiculous ride.
But only a Scrooge would mention pitfalls to a team that always invents them on their own. The Tiny Tim of the Denver sports scene has usually died by New Year's.
This time, the Nuggets' insanity is validated. With Van Exel, McDyess, Ron Mercer and matured role players, the Nuggets have to be considered -- and isn't this an ironic title? -- favorites.
Not to win anything, of course. Just to squeeze into the final playoff spot as the tallest midget among dwarfs like Vancouver, Dallas and Golden State. Six years ago, Issel will remind you, Denver came into the playoffs an eight seed and left with the NBA's biggest upset over top-seeded Seattle.
"Right now, it's like we're leading on the third hole," Jones said. "But I'm going to keep watching the whole year."
Two years ago, at this stage of the season, no one watched. The Nuggets were already thinking about their lottery pick. Playoff intensity, even the December variety, is a whole lot better than the alternative.