Question — To teach my 4-year-old niece that the holidays are about giving as well as getting, I want the two of us to participate in a church project where you pick the name of a needy child and buy him or her a gift for about $20. To make it meaningful, I think my niece should contribute some of her own money, but she doesn't have much. Would $1 be enough, or do we need to split the cost half and half?

Answer — At your niece's age, it's the idea, not the amount, that counts, and $1 should be plenty to make your point. She's still too young to understand fractions and percentages, so a 50 percent split wouldn't mean much.

The key to teaching kids the joy of giving is to start small, make the experience as hands-on as possible, and set a good example. In fact, the adage about charity beginning at home was tailor-made for kids.

Several years ago, Eda LeShan, the family counselor and author of a number of books on childrearing, told me about the Christmas her then-8-year-old daughter helped plan a surprise visit from an old family friend as a gift for her grandparents.

When "Aunt Lilly," wrapped in tissue paper and a bow, appeared on the stairs, "it was a Christmas that all of us will remember more than any other," said LeShan.

This year, Kathy Kristof, a syndicated financial columnist and author of "Investing 101," suggested that her two children scratch off a toy from their list and use the money to buy a gift for needy kids in another country from the World Vision catalog www.worldvision.org.

Samantha, 10, chose playground equipment for an orphanage in Romania ($40), and Michael, 8, picked a $20 brood of chickens for a family in Honduras.

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In Dallas, Regen Fearon encourages her 7-year-old daughter, also named Samantha, to use her own money to buy Beanie Babies for the toy closet at the cancer treatment center of a local hospital and deliver them herself.

On one visit, the mother of a young patient came up to Samantha and told her how much her son enjoyed going to the closet to select a toy. "Samantha was a bit stunned, and I was in tears," says her mom.

Even older kids learn by doing. My teenage son John was required by a school service project to spend an afternoon working at a mobile soup kitchen — something quiet, reserved John would otherwise have been reluctant to do. But afterward he talked enthusiastically about the experience and said he'd be happy to volunteer again — on his own.


Have a question about kids and finances for Dr. Tightwad? Write to Dr. T at 1729 H St., N.W., Washington, DC 20006. Or send the good doctor an e-mail message (and any other questions for this column) to jbodnar@kiplinger.com.

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