The first weekend after the election that will never end we sat in suspense wondering what Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris would do.
The second weekend after the election that will never end we sat in suspense wondering what the Florida Supreme Court would do.
The third weekend after the election that will never end we broke for Thanksgiving.
The fourth weekend after the election that will never end we sit in suspense wondering what the U.S. Supreme Court will do.
What is this, a presidential race or test cricket?
Meanwhile, the trucks carrying ballots to Tallahassee have received the most motorcade coverage since O.J.'s white Bronco on the San Diego freeway.
An event that brought about yet another bizarre sound bite in a monthlong string of bizarre sound bites.
Cable TV reporter to new Florida resident O.J. Simpson: "Remind you of anything?"
O.J.: "Yes, but in my case it may have been a little more intriguing because people didn't know what was going to happen. Here, they know the ballots are going to get to Tallahassee."
But unlike O.J., we don't know what they'll say when they get there.
The fact that the courts have become so involved is just more evidence that we're all guilty of watching way too much "Law & Order," "The Practice," "Ally McBeal" and "Court TV."
And what's up with the U.S. Supreme Court, by the way, for even getting involved?
They, of all wise men, should have known better.
The Founding Fathers set up a government equally divided into three parts: the executive branch, the legislative branch and the judiciary branch.
Executive takes care of running the states and the country.
Legislative takes care of making the laws.
Judiciary interprets the laws.
And while it's true judiciary can be called in for interpretation at any time, it's also true that the U.S. Supreme Court has the discretion to decide what arguments it will hear.
The U.S. Supreme Court could have easily denied the writ of certiorari — a legal phrase I just threw in to see if you're still paying attention — that was filed by the "Bush for President" lawyers challenging the Florida Supreme Court's decision that canceled Katherine Harris' first official certification of Florida's vote. The Supreme Court denies writs of certiorari all the time (all last term, it accepted only 74 cases). It could have easily chosen to not get involved in an issue reduced to legal trivia since George W. Bush went on to win certification under the Florida Supreme Court's newly ordered deadline anyway.
But just like O.J., the Supreme Court could not resist responding when asked for its opinion in this ongoing national drama.
Meanwhile, even as the Supreme Court justices in Washington ponder their response, the Florida Legislature moves front and center in assuming a position as the true protectors of Florida's 25 key presidential electoral votes. On their side, the legislators say, is Article 2, Section 1 of the U.S. Constitution, which grants them the power to appoint Florida's electors.
Say the Legislature does take control, and also say the U.S. Supreme Court rules in Bush's favor, then what we've got is the Florida Legislature rendering what the U.S. Supreme Court did moot in striking down the Florida Supreme Court ruling that struck down the initial act of certification of the Florida secretary of state.
In other words, we'd have the state executive branch being trumped by the state judiciary branch being trumped by the federal judiciary branch being trumped by the state legislative branch.
And we still don't have a president.
Lee Benson's column runs Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Please send e-mail to benson@desnews.com and faxes to 801-237-2527.