It is easy to think about the victim.

For most of us, it doesn't even matter what crime was committed. Robbery. Assault. Rape. The first reaction is always concern and sympathy for the person on the receiving end.

And then we blame the offender, casting him off as part of the dregs of society even when the offender is a child, and maybe especially when the child commits a sex crime.

But that is where stereotypes should end and where concern and compassion are needed the most, say those who work with young offenders.

"If we lined up all of the kids in the system, these are the healthiest ones. The Eagle Scouts, the kids who get good grades," said Dave Fowers, a Division of Youth Corrections program specialist who works with sex offenders. "We need to pull away from our mental states that say this person is a sex offender. But the very words pin some of these people and their families into such a corner."

Valley Mental Health therapist Shawn Winger, who works exclusively with sex-offending children, calls the crime "an incredibly shaming thing" for families. Over his four years of working with families, at least one had a petition circulated through its LDS ward to force the family out of the congregation. He has watched parents break down in court after listening to others say the child "is a monster that should be castrated and never released (from custody)."

"People don't have compassion when it comes to sex offenders," Winger said. "I think society just hears the word 'sex offender' and ignores the fact that they are children."

That is not to say that these children should not be held accountable for their actions, Winger and Fowers agree.

"Society should not let them get away with their abusive patterns," Winger said. "At the same time they need compassion and support as well as firmness, confrontation and accountability."

Mike Christensen, director of the Salt Lake District Attorney's juvenile division, would like to see Utah legislators grant his office the power of mandating treatment for juvenile offenders. Right now, all he can do is criminally charge juvenile offenders.

Most of those cases get thrown out, Christensen said, because of the offender's age.

Christensen's proposal is in its initial stages and will not be ready by the 2001 legislative session.

Unlike adult offenders, adolescents tend to be very successful in sex-offender treatment programs, Fowers said.

Over the past three years, DYC has tracked 35 offenders released from maximum security treatment facilities, and none have reoffended, he said.

Winger assesses a child's physical and emotional development, maturity level, social skills, family relationships and examines the type of sexual behavior exhibited before crafting a treatment plan. That plan always includes individual therapy for the offender, as well as family therapy, he said.

"I don't want to stereotype, but the common thread is that somewhere along the way, something has happened and these kids have learned how to avoid dealing with it," Winger said.

Part of Winger's plan for treatment includes asking the offender to identify not just the initial victim but secondary victims, such as family members, and write letters of apology.

Parents are typically feeling guilty and responsible for the child's actions. Siblings can be confused about what has happened and feel displaced, because Mom and Dad are now so focused on the needs of one child. And there is often a lot of anger, DYC case manager Sandy Lee said.

"I have one mother who said she was so repulsed, but that she still loves her son. Her whole world was ripped apart," Lee said. "It's going to take her a long time to forgive."

Winder has found that forgiveness and healing are indeed possible when offenders and their families do the hard work of therapy. The process can often take as long as two years, but offenders can learn to understand and control their behavior.

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"If the kid is willing to engage in the process, it does work, yes," he said. "The problem is that society still wants a 'cure' for sex offending, and it's not a disease. I'm still amazed at how often the question from parents is: Will my son be cured?"

Youth Corrections staffers are working to develop new programs that Fowers hopes will help speed the process of recovery. It is based on the philosophy that both the offender and his victims can become better if they know the other is making progress.

"We've got to do them side by side, but we are just barely talking to each other," Fowers said. "It's like the good guys and the bad guys, but none of us can do the work without the other one."


E-mail: dobner@desnews.com; preavy@desnews.com

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