Lori Edmunds endured cold and darkness Wednesday night, as she has every evening of Dec. 6 for the past six years, to wait her turn to place a white flower below the wings of an angel at the Salt Lake City Cemetery.
Edmunds was among 100 people holding white carnations, roses and candles who somberly gathered around the Angel Monument at the cemetery. They didn't know each other, but they understood each other's pain because all were mourning the loss of children.
Since 1994, many have been gathering at the Angel Monument on the evening of Dec. 6, Children's Day, to grieve collectively by hearing the stories of guest speakers, listening to madrigals and children's choir music, and finally, to place the flowers at the base of the monument in memory of their little angels.
"We need our rituals," said Richard Paul Evans, whose organization is a sponsor of the event. Evans was one of the speakers. It was his book, The Christmas Box, that inspired communities to erect Angel Monuments in parks and cemeteries throughout the country as gathering places for people to remember their little ones who are no longer with them.
"It's really a good thing," said Lori Edmunds. "It's really a good cry."
Edmunds grieves for a baby daughter. She said the vigil is a nice time away from the rush of the holiday season and the time and energy the holidays requires of her with her other children.
"It's the few moments I spend thinking of her this time of year," she said.
In between musical selections like Brahms' "Lullaby" and "Silent Night," speakers talked to the gathering about their experiences with grief. Evans spoke to the group about tears. He referred to the story of Jesus waking Lazarus up from the dead. Evans said he never understood why Jesus wept before Lazarus's body when he knew Lazarus would arise. "And then, as I was pondering this, (I realized) we don't weep for the dead. We weep for the living."
Ken Hicken spoke to the group from a father's perspective about death of a child. He spoke about taboos in society against men showing grief. "I want to say to my son, Alex, I love him, I want to thank him for being in my life — even if it was for a short time," he said.
Jessica Wertz spoke on losing a sibling, her brother Seth who died less than a year ago, but whom she believes she will someday see again.
"I miss my brother so much. . . . There isn't a day that goes by I don't think about him or shed a tear for him," she said.
"Their names are on the tips of our tongues, even after many years," said Sharon Baldauf, president of The Compassionate Friends, a sponsor of the vigil and support group for people grieving loss of children.
After the speakers, music, a moment of silence and more music, it was time for those who gathered to one by one place their flowers at the base of the Angel Monument.
Edmunds said that was the most powerful part of the vigil for her.
She then walked down a hill toward her car. But not before deciding she would attend the vigil again next year.
E-MAIL: lhancock@desnews.com