Dear Abby: I have been married for 17 years. My husband never tells me I look pretty. I know some women reading your column will think, "Who cares what somebody else thinks of you?" He tells my daughter she looks pretty — and the girls in his office — so I know he knows how to give a compliment.
Abby, I am not overweight. I wear makeup and get my hair cut every six weeks. I am not homely. I shower twice a day.
A year ago I told my husband how I felt. Now the only time he says anything complimentary to me is when we are in bed. Too late! I need to hear encouraging words. Every woman needs to hear that she's attractive.
If you print this, maybe it will alert some nice husband out there who has been withholding to say, "Honey, you look pretty today." It'll sure go a long way with his wife. — Desperate for a Compliment
Dear Desperate: You hit the nail on the head when you described your husband's behavior as "withholding." The next step is to discover why he would deliberately withhold something from you that you told him you needed. And while you're at it, ask yourself why it took 16 years to tell your husband what you wanted from him.
I suspect there are problems in your marriage you haven't mentioned in your letter.
Dear Abby: Our neighbors hung a wreath on their door with a motion sensor that plays Christmas music whenever someone comes to the door. Unfortunately, it is also activated by the wind, so that it plays endlessly, over and over, day and night on breezy days.
Please, Abby, ask your readers to keep such items INSIDE their homes for their own enjoyment. Then maybe the rest of us can have a "silent night." — Bah Humbug in Columbus, Ohio
Dear Humbug: Your suggestion seems reasonable to me. A silent night is a necessity before a constructive work day. And most of us have to work — even during the Christmas season. Ho! Ho! Ho!
Dear Abby: You recently printed a letter about automobile safety. The reader recommended that everyone should install a "back-up beeper" on their cars. The cost would be less than $50.
Abby, every automobile manufactured in the United States already has a working beeper — it's called a horn!
When I worked for the post office, we were trained to "beep more than once" when we backed up our vehicles. I have been retired for 15 years and still automatically honk my horn every time I put my car in reverse. Everyone should try it! — Peter in Tampa, Fla.
Dear Peter: Several readers wrote to tell me my response to that letter left a lot to be desired. If that safety tip is good enough for the U.S. Postal Service, it's good enough for me. (Not to mention a great way to save $50!)
And while I'm on the subject, another reader pointed out that when a driver is too old and stiff to turn around and check to see if someone is standing behind the car before backing up, that person should no longer be driving.
Dear Abby: We were invited to spend Thanksgiving with our son and daughter-in-law — a three-day drive for us, but we were eager to spend time with family and see our grandchildren.
We make it a point to keep our visits short. They are busy young people with lots to do. We take them all out to dinner at least once during our visit, and offer to help wherever needed.
However, our daughter-in-law remained cool and distant. It made us feel we weren't a part of their family. Her behavior made us feel we were unwelcome and in the way.
Abby, we could use some pointers on what to do — and what not to do — while visiting our married children. Please help. — Puzzled Mother-in-Law
Dear Puzzled: You appear to be gracious people. I'm not sure the problem is yours; giving you pointers seems beside the point. If she usually behaves that way during your visits, your daughter-in-law may have insecurity or self-esteem issues that make it difficult for her to entertain houseguests, or she could simply be a "loner." Whatever her reasons, you're overdue for a private talk with your son to help you understand what's going on.
© Universal Press Syndicate