I have seen the future, and they are all in baby strollers. If the last generation we had was the "baby boomers," this generation will easily be known as the "baby riders."
More and more infants are now being pushed around by their mothers, fathers and grandmothers. The babies sit back with their thumbs in their mouths, smugly observing the view.
My observation is that all these easy riders are enjoying themselves and feel no shame in having a grown-up do all the physical work for them. The big question parents must answer is how long they will allow their children to stay in their stroller before they make them walk.
Dr. Harold Wackanut, a pedio-psychiatrist, says that children are smart enough to remain in strollers as long as their parents will let them. He tells the story of a patient pushing her healthy 13-year-old son in a stroller past the Fountainbleu Hotel. A man said to her, "What's the matter, lady, can't your son walk?" And the mother replied, "Why should he walk?"
Dr. Wackanut said, "The reason children like to be pushed in strollers is that they have the best of all worlds. They don't expend any energy, and they can always observe what is going on in front of them."
As soon as they are born, children have a sense of being in the driver's seat and feel in complete charge. I have heard many children in strollers say to no one in particular, "The sidewalk belongs to me."
The reason parents like to push their children in strollers is that their offspring rarely yell when given a free ride. Once the child is lifted out of his stroller he starts screaming and spitting at pedestrians on the sidewalk.
An entirely new baby-stroller industry has sprung up. Some are now being manufactured with whitewall tires, others with Burberry covers. There are three-wheeled strollers and double strollers for twins. Some have automobile horns on them. Others have leather seats.
In the larger cities baby-stroller traffic has increased so much that it now is causing gridlock. When this happens parents and grandparents lose their tempers, though the babies don't seem to be bothered by it.
What will happen when the babies have to lose their strollers? Wackanut said they won't go quietly. Infants never do.
I asked Wackanut if he thinks there is more stroller rage than ever before.
"It depends on the drivers. The worst ones are the grandmothers who think nothing of ramming another stroller out of their way. That's why baby-stroller insurance keeps going up every day."
Los Angeles Times Syndicate