It's safe to assume the Salt Lake Organizing Committee has survived the storm. That scandal that broke 16 months ago can now be filed under "Embarrassing Olympic Occurrences," like Tonya and Nancy or synchronized swimming. Those worries that the Olympic movement was about to implode are ancient history, really.
The Salt Lake Olympics will likely be the best Winter Games in history. It's now full speed ahead until February 2002.
In anticipation of that event, I decided to check out the 2002 Web site to see if the call for Olympic volunteers is what it's cracked up to be. Maybe you've seen the ads in the papers saying it's the chance of a lifetime. But I've wondered if, say, driving a shuttle van is really the sort of Olympic experience people are expecting. This much I know: If driving a van isn't the experience of a lifetime, filling out the application form is.
The first step involves inserting a username in the correct field. Since I was working incognito, I put "Jim Thorpe." I guess I wasn't the first person to be that clever, because it answered back by informing me my username would be jthorpe2.
Apparently jthorpe1 already beat me to the starting gate.
The truth about being a 2002 volunteer is it's going to be hard work for no pay. I'm not just talking about standing outside in freezing temperatures or serving crab salad to Olympic delegates.
I'm talking about filling out the application form. I don't remember going to this much effort to get into college, and I'm fairly sure it would be less trouble getting into the FBI. I printed out the blank form so I could take my time and fill it out by hand.
If you're interested in volunteering, bear this in mind: There are 11 sections and 26 pages of material to wade through. They're going to want your legal name, address, country and where you'll be in February 2002. They also want all telephone numbers, including cell phones.
If you're the type that keeps your phone number unlisted — or have a criminal record — this may not be the job for you. They also want your driver's license number and the names of any groups you belong to. (I guess that way if you belong to, say, a terrorist organization, they'll be able to reach you immediately on your cell phone.) They want to know your education level, college major or if you're still attending school. They need to know your previous volunteer experience and if you know first aid or CPR.
They want to know pretty much everything about you, right down to the number of fillings in your teeth.
When I saw "Cool Runnings," everything seemed a lot less complicated.
Eventually you get to "Professional Skills," which is No. 5 of 11 categories. Are you skilled in archive administration? Drug testing? Bus driving? Clergy?
If so, SLOC may have a place for you.
How about law? There's a call out for pro bono lawyers, and who knows, maybe there will be some ambulances to chase. Perhaps photography, software testing or Utah history is your strength. There's even a category for "warehousing," which I assume means if you've ever stacked boxes at Costco, you have a shot at a spot on the 2002 team.
I also noticed there's an area for writing/journalism, which I'm pretty sure I could do, unless it requires knowing something about biathlon. Only problem is, I've also volunteered to do some writing in February 2002 for someone else — the newspaper.
In the "Sport and Event Skills" category, you're asked to rank your skill level in all the winter sports disciplines: curling, bobsled, figure skating, hockey, skeleton, snowboarding, etc. That one was easy. Where it says "skill level" I was able cover the entire section by checking the box that says "none."
The eighth category is the one that most inspired me. It's called "Job Preference" and asks you to rank in order the three jobs you would most like to do in 2002. The jobs I was interested in weren't on the SLOC list, so I penciled in my own: USOC president, captain of the Canadian hockey team and network television anchor.
Hey, that's what are the Olympics are all about — aiming high.
The last category is some of the good stuff: a request for uniform and shoe sizes. Does this mean freebies? You may walk off with a nifty blazer, windbreaker or pair of sneakers. Hopefully you won't just go home with a pin that says "Contrast, Culture, Courage."
In a nutshell, that's about it. Now hiring, good positions available, inquire within. Just remember to start filling out your form now. Otherwise, you'll not only miss the deadline, you might miss the Games entirely.