Liar, liar

After the loss to Portland, Monday, Karl Malone insisted nobody expected the Jazz to get as far as they have — and if anyone claims otherwise, "they're lying."

Wait a minute. I predicted the Jazz would win the Midwest Division . . . didn't I?

Same day I predicted Vijay Singh would win the Masters.

Thinking man

Malone added that "everybody's burying us" but "we believe in ourselves, in the locker room."

Unfortunately, they don't play the games in the locker room.

Body of evidence

Asked about the problems Portland poses, center Olden Polynice said in a resigned tone, "Everybody is a problem."

Let me guess . . . was it Dallas, Denver or Houston that convinced you guys?

Teed off

Golf Digest's May issue says the best golfers among sports professionals are football and hockey players. Of the top 10, six are football players and four hockey players. No NBA players are listed in the top 10.

Makes sense.

Ever tried to find a sand wedge when you're 7-foot-2?

Talent scout

Magic Johnson has become a partner in the ownership of the minor league Dayton Dragons baseball team.

"I'm a baseball fan. I've always been," said Johnson. "I always go to the Dodger games here in Los Angeles. Now I'll be looking forward to coming to Dayton and going to my own team's games."

Yeah, just like in L.A., Magic Man, except in Dayton they don't have any starlets for you to ogle.

Same time, same station

Now this is news — someone is calling the Jazz dirty. This time it's Houston's Steve Francis.

Which can mean only one of two things: They are dirty, or it's playoff time.

Weighty accusations

Allegations have surfaced in Japan that sumo matches are fixed. A former wrestler said he threw one fight against grand champion Akebono for 400,000 yen.

I'll admit, sumo wrestling is quirky. But cheating?

Never.

OK, maybe on their diets.

Message center

The state of Utah is allowing a resident to keep his Olympic license plates that say "SCNDL." Officials were apparently nervous revoking the plates would result in more controversy.

He originally asked for "BRIBE," but someone had beat him to it.

Why the fuss?

I'm not worried about what plates say unless I see a SLOC official with one that says "TAXHIKE."