READY TO RUMBLE — * — David Arquette, Scott Caan, Oliver Platt, Rose McGowan, Martin Landau, Joe Pantoliano, Diamond Dallas Page, Bill Goldberg; rated PG-13 (violence, vulgarity, profanity, brief nudity, brief sex); Carmike 12, Plaza 5400 and Ritz 15 Theaters; Century Theatres 16; Cinemark Jordan Landing Theaters; Loews Cineplex Holladay Center, Trolley North and Trolley Square Mall Cinemas; Megaplex 17 at Jordan Commons; Redwood Drive-in (with "Romeo Must Die").

You know a film's bad when the nicest thing that can be said about it is it's "better than it looks."

That description fits — but just barely — "Ready to Rumble," a moronic, low-brow comedy that's only marginally better than its even more moronic trailer and TV ads.

If the film's use of toilet humor and terrible slapstick isn't bad enough, it also introduces cinema to a most unwelcome new genre — the professional wrestling comedy. That might be forgivable if the film were funnier, if the jokes were aimed even a little higher, or if it didn't carry one of the least responsible messages in recent history. (Despite a number of in-ring and out-of-ring injuries and even fatalities, this film actually has the nerve to promote wrestling as a career choice and violence as a solution to life's problems.)

Worse, it also gives one of cinema's biggest irritants, David Arquette, an excuse to clown around on the big screen.

Arquette and Scott Caan star as, respectively, Gordie Boggs and Sean Dawkins, two diehard Wyoming wrestling fans. Don't even try to tell these two that their favorite "sport" is fake. They don't want to hear it, or hear anyone speaking ill of their hero, Jimmy King (Oliver Platt), one of wrestling's biggest stars.

Unfortunately for him — and them — the egotistical Jimmy has fallen on hard times, having recently lost his world title and been booted out of the business.

However, they're not ready to give up on Jimmy, whom they've tracked down at an Atlanta trailer park. And somehow they manage to get him another shot at stardom with an elderly trainer (Martin Landau) and a beautiful pro wrestling "cheerleader" (Rose McGowan) helping.

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With Arquette and several real-life grapplers in the cast (including WCW stars Diamond Dallas Page and Bill Goldberg), things are already bad enough. But the key ingredient in this mess is director Brian Robbins, who has previously brought us such treats as "Good Burger" and "Varsity Blues."

Robbins' idea of humor is setting up a joke, then letting the camera linger on the scene afterward so the audience can "recover" from laughing.

But the dopey script (by "Mighty Ducks" scribe Steven Brill) isn't likely to prompt much laughter, and the performances are embarrassingly clownish — even from Oscar-winner Landau, who's really slumming here.

"Ready to Rumble" is rated PG-13 for wrestling violence and action (a lot of it played for laughs), crude sexual and scatological humor, profanity (including one utterance of the so-called "R-rated" curse word), brief female partial and male nudity and brief sexual fumblings. Running time: 100 minutes.

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