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Rock on. . .touching all the bases

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Dog days

By the time you read this, the Jazz may have acquired Danny Manning or John Starks.

Or they could be looking up Armen Gilliam's phone number again.

Whomever they sign as a free agent, things could be worse.

Remember when they signed Allen Bannister to a one-year deal?

No?

I rest my case.

Good fortune

Nearly three months after the fact, a Seattle woman has filed a complaint with the Salt Lake City Police Department, claiming Karl Malone deliberately hit her in the head and chest after diving for a loose ball during a playoff game.

Considering what happened to that loudmouthed Denver fan six years ago, she's probably lucky Larry Miller didn't get ahold of her.

Eyes on the prize

Maybe you guys in the Justice Department ought to ease up on Johnson and Welch a little. They lost their jobs, their pensions and have roughly the same approval rating as O.J. Simpson.

If you want to cook someone, why not fry bigger fish?

Like, say, Juan Antonio Samaranch.

Heavenly matchup

I was saddened at the passing of former Tribune sports editor John Mooney last week.

But I have to smile at the thought that he and Cactus Jack Curtice are in the Great Beyond, working on a way to get a rematch against Army.

As good as it gets

I'm sure there was a time when Mooney thought if the Utes ever beat BYU five times in seven years in football, he had died and gone to heaven.

Well, they did. And he has.

Off the mark

Ex-Ute Brandon Jessie is suing former teammate Andre Miller for an auto accident in 1999 that injured Jessie. Reports say Miller ran a red light and was hit by a driver who had been drinking.

Nice idea — sue the guy who was kind enough to give you a ride.

That's like suing the Salvation Army for serving bad food.

Worth a try

Manchester United soccer team is switching to jerseys that, according to the hype, allow muscles to work at higher levels of intensity.

So.

Any chance of getting one of those for Ostertag?

Big picture

The L.A. Times reports that Notre Dame's associate director of bands is composing music for a 2,000-person ensemble that will play in the opening ceremonies of the Sydney Olympics. But wouldn't you know it — he won't be there. He'll be in South Bend.

That's the same day the Irish host Purdue in football.

Hey, some events are global.


E-mail: rock@desnews.com