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Rock on...touching all the bases

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Right place, wrong time

Wondering how to get top billing in the sports section?

Make sure it's a slow news day.

When John Crotty signed with the Jazz, he got prominent play in both Salt Lake dailies. But when Donyell Marshall signed, he ended up in the bottom right-hand corner of page D-1 in the Deseret News and was relegated to D-3 in the Tribune.

Marshall made the mistake of signing the same day LaVell Edwards announced his retirement.

Sorry about that, Donny.

We'll catch up with you in the playoffs.

Priority seating

There is one guaranteed way to get big play in the papers: get arrested.

Style points

When you're in the Mountain West Conference, you grab publicity wherever you can. So it was no big surprise to see BYU defensive tackle Hans Olsen pictured in last week's ESPN magazine, balancing a miniature couch (with a dog perched on top) on his chin. (OK, so it was a little surprise.)

He's featured in an article titled "Freak Show."

And you thought they didn't have any personality down there.

Good work if you can get it

Ever wonder how some people get their jobs?

Agent Dan Fegan helped Shandon Anderson sign with Houston, rather than Utah, and the move cost Anderson $18 million. He also represents Howard Eisley, who was prepared to turn down a $20 million, five-year offer from the Jazz and sign with Dallas. That piece of creative financing could have cost Eisley $17.75 million, had last Monday's sign-and-trade not occurred.

I know, he's a scary agent.

But think of it this way: He could have been an accountant.

Number crunching

Clippers' draftee Darius Miles says the pre-draft psychological tests Chicago G.M. Jerry Krause had him take were "stupid."

"The first question was 'If you've got $4 and someone gives you $5, how much money do you have?' " said Miles.

How come nobody gave that test to Eisley and Anderson?


Sports Illustrated columnist Rick Reilly used last week's space to expound on those corny-but-traditional fight songs around the country.

Reilly ranked "Utah Man" among his least-favorite fight songs — especially the part that says, "Our gang, it is the jolliest that you have ever seen."

I agree. It's goofy.

Still, I remember when the football team was the goofiest thing on campus.

On second thought . . .

Killer schedule the Cougars have this year, right?

Not necessarily.

In Sports Illustrated's preseason rankings, Florida State (2) and Colorado State (24) are the only Cougar opponents who rank higher. BYU checks in at No. 32, ahead of Utah (39), Virginia (40), Mississippi State (41) and Syracuse (43).

The magazine also ranks the Cougars' schedule only the 57th-toughest.

Now tell me again, what were they so worried about?

E-MAIL: rock@desnews.com