There are few things more painful to sit through than a movie that can't make up its mind what it wants to be. Well, perhaps oral surgery without anesthesia, so perhaps it's appropriate that portions of "Novocaine" feel nearly as excruciating.
This is one of the most unsure-of-itself films ever. At times it aims for pseudo-noir thriller, then dark comedy, though they never really jell separately or together.
If that isn't frustrating enough, there's also the talented cast's efforts to make something of the material, only to have everything turned around by screenwriter David Atkins, who also makes his directorial debut here.
As you might expect from the title, the main character is a dentist, Frank Sangster (Steve Martin), who's got a burgeoning practice. He's also got a girlfriend, hygienist Jean Noble (Laura Dern), who's devoted to him. But something seems to be missing from his life.
Perhaps that's why he's drawn to his mysterious new patient, Susan Ivy (Helena Bonham Carter). Susan shows up at inappropriate moments and seems just a little too interested in his cabinet of drugs (she even gets him to prescribe painkillers and then commits forgery to "up" her prescription).
Most men would shy away from a woman who's so obviously troubled, but Frank just can't, which is why he eventually finds himself a suspect in a murder (the body of Susan's bullying brother turns up in his home).
To further complicate matters, Frank's ne'er-do-well
brother (Elias Koteas) has just shown up looking for a handout, and he may be involved in the crime.
It's clear that Atkins isn't exactly sure what he's going for, and it spills over into the performances.
On the surface, Martin would seem to be a perfect choice for the role. But he has no chemistry whatsoever with Carter, and his acting seems inappropriate (he plays the straight scenes as comic and vice-versa).
Also, the film features one of Dern's all-time worst performances.
In fact, the film's sole highlight is an unbilled supporting performance by Kevin Bacon, playing a film star doing research for an upcoming role as a detective. Maybe they should have made the movie about his character.
"Novocaine" is rated R for graphic violence (including a shooting), occasional use of strong profanity, simulated sex, graphic gore, drug content (theft of prescriptions painkillers and use of anesthesia), brief female nudity and use of some coarse slang terms. Running time: 95 minutes.
E-MAIL: jeff@desnews.com