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Rock on . . . touching all the bases

Visionary men

Karl Malone did a cartwheel Saturday night to narrowly avoid injury on a driving shot. Weird thing is, he claims he saw the whole play in his mind before it happened.

Impressive. But I can see into the future, too.

I saw the Jazz losing to the Blazers last year in the playoffs before it happened.


The Jazz are going to be homeless for a month next February when the Olympics come to town. That's because figure skating will be held at the Delta Center.

Jazz v.p. Kevin O'Connor says it's "going to be very disruptive."

Hey, things could be worse.

Try going through life with Rasheed Wallace and Rod Strickland on your team.

Now that's disruptive.

Selling out

Speaking of disruption, Texas Tech has topped list of most desperate schools in America, by hiring Bob Knight.

Michigan, Wisconsin, Louisville and others didn't bite. They know a disaster when they see one.

But Texas Tech wasn't above hiring a ticking bomb.

It's true that Knight wins games and graduates players.

But he also strangles them.

To all those schools that sell their souls to win games, this Bud's for you.

Special K

There are no behavioral clauses in Knight's contract.

"I think this is the beginning of something special," said A.D. Gerald Myers at the news conference.

So do I, mister. So do I.

Retirement glut

You gotta love the quote by Shaquille O'Neal, who says he's not going to play into middle age.

"If you hear from me at 38, I'll be sitting at the Krispy Kreme eating glazed donuts," he told writers.

Same thing Charles Barkley's doing at 38.

Secret stuff

Ute football coach Ron McBride has closed spring practices to the public. Seems he's worried about spies infiltrating his workouts.

Wouldn't want 'em finding out about that play where the kicker forgets where he put his helmet.

The way they were

Rick Majerus didn't take long to say "no" to Wisconsin.

That makes two quick refusals in a row, the other being UNLV.

Looks like the boss is back for another season.

I wonder if he'll bring the old reliable Utes along with him.

Stamp of approval

An end-of-the-season note on my favorite local player, USU's Bernard Rock.

He has a tattoo that reads: Steal the Rock/Pass the Rock/Shoot the Rock/Be the Rock.

Hey! What about "Read the Rock"?