Facebook Twitter

Laugh, cry — codes to live by

SHARE Laugh, cry — codes to live by

A number of you were good enough to respond to my request for "Codes to Live By."

Here's one of my favorites, which was sent by Pedro Martinez, pitcher for the Boston Red Sox.

"Right or wrong, a man must protect his portion of the plate. With violence if necessary."

Naturally, I was pleased to hear from Pedro this past week because I am a muy big Pedro fan. Where pitching is concerned, he's the "total package." Curve. Slider. Change-up. Fastball. He's got 'em all.

Just can't get enough of the way that lean, mean hombre makes 'em flinch. Love, love, love the way he unloads a pitch, even when someone gets in his way.

Especially when someone gets in his way.

So it was both humbling and thrilling to me to realize that Pedro Martinez respects me as a hard-hitting "Desnews" columnist as much as I respect him as a hard-throwing "Bosox" ballplayer.

Respect.

That's what it's all about, baby.

Then I realized the letter actually came from my brother, Jimmy, who was trying to trick me. So HA HA HA, Jimmy. You had your little joke.

Anyway, thanks to the REST of you who took me seriously and sent me your "Codes to Live By." I enjoyed your words, which ranged from the silly to the almost sublime.

Here they are.

CODE FOR TEENAGERS

— "My favorite code to live by for teenagers was written by Utah writer Thelma Hatch Wyss in her novel 'Here at the Scenic Vu Motel.' Her advice, as expressed by narrator Jake Callahan, was 'study hard and have fun.'"

CODE FOR PARENTS OF EMPLOYMENT-CHALLENGED TEENAGERS

— "Them teenagers what aren't working, are for sale."

CODE TO GROOM BY

— "You can look well-dressed as long as you have expensive shoes, an expensive watch and a good purse. Good hair . . . well, that goes without saying!"

CODE FOR REALISTS TO GROOM BY

—" 'You can never be too rich or too thin!' I loved this motto when I heard it because I will never be either!"

CODE FOR SENSIBLE LIVING

— "During a disagreement, be extra courteous if the other guy has a weapon."

ENDURANCE CODE

— "The pride lasts longer than the pain."

FEAR CODE

— "A life lived in fear is only half-lived."

FAMILY CODE

— "A man who has lost his family has lost everything that is worth living for."

DIET-HATING DIETER'S CODE

— "I like the old Mexican saying that you can get used to anything but hunger."

BEST CODE FOR REVENGE SEEKERS

— "If not me, you. If not now, later."

GEORGE BUSH JR. CODE

— "I don't care that more people voted for HIM. I am still the people's choice." (AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm not sure, but I think my brother, Jimmy, was trying to trick me with this one, too.)

CODE FOR DOGS

— "If you're a small dog, never corner a large cat."

CODE FOR DOGS RESIDING IN ANN CANNON'S HOUSEHOLD

— "You can TOO get on the couch if you want to. Just wait until she leaves the living room."

BEST CODE FOR MANAGING AN OVERWHELMING LIFE

— "Make plans. Then just do the next thing."

THE MOTHER OF ALL CODES

— "You can laugh or cry. But laughing is better."


E-MAIL: acannon@desnews.com