PROVO — The first day of the rest of Gary Crowton's life went like this: His BYU defense gave up 35 points to Tulane in Saturday's season-opener — and that wasn't even bad news. That's because his own team scored 70.
The Cougars ended up just 28 rushing yards, 43 total yards and 13 points shy of school records — which is a good thing.
That leaves him something to shoot for.
It was that sort of day. The kind of day coaches fantasize about when they're thinking crazy, wild thoughts. His trick plays all worked. Heck, even his failed plays worked. How else do you explain a touchdown pass being touched by three people before coming to rest?
This much seems clear after one session of Gary Crowton unplugged: At least in spirit, his team is a blood relative to the old rip-roaring, full-throttle, take-no-prisoners Cougars of the '80s and early '90s.
"BYU is supposed to put up points," said quarterback Brandon Doman.
For those who relish the days when the Cougars marched down the field at will; for those who absolutely loved that 1991 game in which BYU and San Diego State scored 52 points each; for anyone who has the attention span of an Irish setter . . . take heart.
The Cougars are back to running up numbers that would make Carl Sagan blush.
"I might celebrate a little bit tonight," said Crowton. "Have a lemonade with my wife, but that's about it." (Let's not celebrate too much, Coach. Next thing you know, you'll have your pants on backwards and a lampshade on your head.)
At the start of Saturday's BCA Classic, about a dozen ROTC cadets were doing pushups after every touchdown. But before the third quarter had ended, they were down to three. That's because the Cougars had 63 points, which amounted to 315 pushups. By the time it got up to 385 pushups, the cadets had abandoned their plan.
Not even cadets can do pushups all day.
That BYU would come out firing was no surprise. When the Cougars hired Crowton last winter, he came with a warning label: Danger, flammable materials inside. He was what Cougar fans were hoping for: a young up-and-comer who could to score points by the truckload.
As soon as Saturday's game began, it was clear the Cougars could get in the end zone any way they wanted. The first touchdown was set up on a 36-yard run by Doman. In fact, the first three and seven of the Cougars' 10 touchdowns came on the ground. Three BYU players rushed for more than 100 yards each.
"Midway through the second quarter," said Doman, "I started licking my chops."
The scoring got so heavy that by the third quarter, the cheerleaders who circled the field with a flag were trading it off halfway through.
How were they to know dragging the flag would become like pulling an oil tanker through rough seas?
BYU even scored one touchdown on what rightfully should have been an incompletion. A pass from Doman to Reno Mahe was first tipped by Mahe, then by Tulane's Adrian Mitchell, before landing in the arms of Spencer Nead for a score. Later, return man Mike Riggell fumbled the ball after carrying 20 yards; but it obligingly squirted into the hands of Brian McDonald for another 20-yard gain.
Just before the half, BYU kickoff man Matt Payne drove the ball off a Tulane player, only to end up recovering his own kick.
Reverses even worked, like the 55-yard gain that set up BYU's fourth touchdown. Quarterback draws worked, too, as witnessed by Doman's 14-yard touchdown.
A passing classic, it wasn't. But a scoring classic, it was. And in the end, the Cougars came off looking suspiciously like the Cougars of old. Maybe they did do most of their damage on the ground, but nobody was quibbling.
After all, it was offense Crowton promised.
He'll work out the details as he goes.
E-mail: rock@desnews.com