The question on the fashion front is, "Who will blink first?" On one side are fashion retailers, on the other parents. The battleground is children's clothing, especially that targeting preteen girls.
According to the Associated Press, a growing number of parents "are becoming outraged by the proliferation of provocative clothes on the shelves, particularly in the preteen departments." Many of those parents say they won't buckle under societal pressures to turn their daughters into clones of certain entertainment icons who dress in provocative styles. (Deseret News Aug. 8, 2001.)
The Associated Press quoted one mother from Boise, Idaho, who wants her daughter to look trendy, not trashy: "I see midriffs, shirts with necklines way too low, and all those leopard fabrics. They look like they're for lounge singers. Whether you go to [a chain discount store] or an expensive department store, all I see are risque outfits."
"Miniature versions of the hot fall looks — low-rise jeans, tight miniskirts and stretch T-shirts with sexually loaded phrases like 'Wild Thing' — are taking center stage in departments aimed at the 8-to-12 age group, known as 'tweens,' " the news service reported.
Many battles will be fought over clothes. Lacking maturity and experience in thinking for themselves, many children tend to "follow the herd," to wear what their friends are wearing. Parents who start out with the ideal of helping their children draft their own fashion statements too often relent when complaints, tears, tantrums and whining become tiresome. It's easier to give in than to lead out.
But parents should remember that one of their roles is to direct their children. While there might be times when parents ought to consider their children's wishes, there are times when a firm stand must be taken. Often, parents are counseled, "Choose your battles. Decide which stands are worth taking, take those stands and then stand firm." It might not matter whether a girl wears a red skirt or blue slacks to a casual event. What matters are the length and fit of the skirt and the cut of the slacks.
Some parents irresponsibly say that it doesn't matter what a child wears, that "it's what's on the inside that counts." There is danger in this philosophy because a child is still developing character and personal identity, and all too often how a child dresses helps shape behavior or self-image. How will a little girl who dresses in provocative clothes see herself? How will she react to others' responses to her suggestive clothing? In what role will she see herself in society? What message will she send if her shirt bears such words as "Hot Lips"?
Helping children select clothing should be a matter of instilling values rather than a battle of wills. Parents should begin teaching dress standards when their children are young.
Preteen children do need to express their individuality and some of that expression comes through the clothing they wear; however, they need guidance in making that expression. Just as children are taught that some behavior is not suitable, they must be taught that certain clothing is not appropriate.
It's seldom solely a young girl's fault that she dresses inappropriately. Even if a child has her own money through gifts or earnings, parents must not abdicate their responsibility in helping guide purchases. In most cases, parents make the purchases. As the mother in Boise pointed out, "Retailers are forgetting that it is the parents that are paying for it." If she finds nothing suitable on the racks, she said, she just won't spend her money.
The Associated Press quoted a New York-based trend consultant who "expects a heated battle between parents and fashion retailers." The outcome of that battle will be determined by whether parents blink first or stand firm.