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Heavy security at the Miss America pageant. Guard dogs were sniffing through the auditorium in search of Tony Danza's talent.

Airport security measures include the removal of the little plastic knives in the terminal food outlets. These are times in which spreading the ketchup with your finger is an act of patriotism. Many of us ask, "What can one person do?" Each individual in his or her own way can stand resolute and order a cookie with a hotdog and spread the mustard with that cookie.

If further precautions call for the removal of plastic forks and spoons as well — I will remain calm and use my pen and pencil as chopsticks.

How to pay for the $40 billion war on terrorism? If I know Congress, it will take at least two more tax cuts.