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Rock on . . .

All quiet on the Wasatch Front

The University of Utah is home to renowned medical and law schools, a great gymnastics program . . . and one of the best coaching jobs in America.

Come again?

A recent ESPN.com survey of 26 college football coaches nationwide rated the best jobs in the country. Not surprisingly, Florida ended up the top vote-getter. But the stupefying thing is that Utah got two first-place votes.

That's encouraging news for Ron McBride. Still, thousands of seats at Rice-Eccles Stadium go unclaimed on perfect football Saturdays.

This is one of America's best jobs?

Maybe some people just prefer to work in silence.

Quiet there, too

Or perhaps it's the prospect of reviving those fun-filled trips to Camp Carbon for two-a-days.

Hunk appeal

ESPN.com is also asking online readers about the world's sexiest athletes. In the male category are such predictables as Oscar de la Hoya, Michael Jordan and Derek Jeter.

But no Mailman?

The guy with the washboard abs and bulging biceps didn't even make the list of candidates.

Those people are way off base. The Mailman is very sexy. I mean, in a guy-admiration sort of way . . . not that I'm attracted personally, but . . . um . . .

Can we just forget I brought up the subject?

One eye blind

"I didn't see it" seems to have taken the lead as the preferred non-answer among NBA players and coaches.

After Houston's Steve Francis was ejected for tossing an elbow at John Stockton last week — his second technical and thus an automatic ejection — nearly everyone pleaded ignorance.

"I didn't see it," said Houston coach Rudy Tomjanovich.

"I didn't see what happened," said Stockton.

Francis didn't deny being an eyewitness — seeing how he's the one who threw the elbow — but he did say he wouldn't argue the call.

Strange how basketball people claim to be able to see a reaching foul from across the court, through a throng of players, but can't see someone trying to knock out a guy's teeth.

It reminds me of when Bryon Russell predicted he would shut down Michael Jordan.

Nobody saw that happen, either.

Off the mark

After watching fights in the NBA for years, it's easy to see why none of those guys decided to become boxers. Those silly punches Shaquille O'Neal threw at Brad Miller last week were off the mark and did no damage.

Shaq needs to take a few lessons from Evander Holyfield — or at least an NHL hockey player. Those guys know how to land punches.

Until then, Shaq should limit his pugilistic pursuits to slapping a stationary Greg Ostertag upside the head.

Career calling

Mavericks' owner Mark Cuban is in deep (frozen) yogurt, thanks to some remarks about Dairy Queen.

Cuban drew the wrath of Blizzard lovers everywhere when he criticized a referee by saying he "might have been a great ref, but I wouldn't hire him to manage a Dairy Queen."

Naturally, DQ took umbrage. Next thing you know, Cuban was working out a deal to be manager-for-a-day.

How appropriate. If not for wealthy owners like Cuban, that's where half the NBA would be working, anyway.


E-mail: rock@desnews.com