Want to borrow my outfit?
The pants are "one size fits most." They can be yours for a mere $18.95.
It's the repeating flag motif that really sold me on them.
What? You think they're offensive? Wait, I haven't even turned on my shirt yet. See? It lights up. God. Bless. America. Behold the power of double-A batteries.
Perhaps I can sell you on my jacket. It's great for those spring days when you think to yourself, "A nice, lightweight American flag jacket would be perfect."
Not buying my flag theme? Fine. Maybe you think I'm a little tacky for your tastes. Au contraire, I'm very en vogue. Celebrities are heralded these days for their patriotic regalia. Flags are IN.
The only other reason you couldn't possibly want to borrow my outfit is because you find it blatantly disrespectful of the flag. I know I do.
Ever since Sept. 11, people have understandably rallied behind the American flag. However, people emblazoning everything with flags have tainted this patriotic rallying.
For my spring break, I visited the happiest place on earth, Disney World Park in Orlando, Fla., characterized by small screaming children and an ability to sell anything with Mickey Mouse's picture on it. Do you think a commercial giant like the Mouse could resist profiting from a little flag-waving? Heavens, no.
There is a whole store devoted to Mickey meets the Stars and Stripes.
A flag-toting Mickey, however, doesn't compare to my all-time favorite patriotic faux pas.
I was waiting in line at the grocery store at home, looking at the travel toothbrushes, breath mints and horoscope scrolls, when I saw a symbol meant to evoke the spirit of America in us all: a cardboard air freshener with the words "United We Stand" superimposed on an American flag. It smelled like pine.
This piece of cardboard is among the lowest forms of patriotic commercialism. It's also illegal.
Mostly out of ignorance, the majority of Americans don't appear to know that putting the image of Old Glory on disposable items is against the law — specifically, the U.S. Code.
Not only is it illegal under the code for the flag to be reproduced on products that are disposable; the flag is not to be used for advertising purposes, either.
The general acceptance of the disrespect shown the Stars and Stripes bugs me. It seems oxymoronic to buy things emblazoned with the flag with the idea that you're supporting your country, when in reality you're breaking the law and disrespecting the symbol of our nation.
How do you show support for the country without promoting the spread of illegal images of the flag? Easy. Don't buy the products. Buy a real flag and display it properly.
Emilie Hilbert of Rochester, N.Y., is a junior majoring in journalism.