Can the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences retroactively revoke Cuba Gooding Jr.'s Oscar?
It's an idea we should explore. Because of all the questionable career choices he's made since winning the supporting-actor award for 1996's "Jerry Maguire," "Boat Trip" is the most baffling — and by far the most insufferable.
In "Boat Trip," Gooding and Horatio Sanz from "Saturday Night Live" play homophobic straight guys on an all-gay cruise. It purports itself to have been made "in the tradition of 'Some Like It Hot,' " but to mention both films in the same breath seems blasphemous.
Writer-director Mort Nathan re-creates none of the wit, charm or finesse of the 1959 Billy Wilder classic.
Gooding's character, Jerry, is heartbroken after his girlfriend, Felicia (Vivica A. Fox), dumps him for her car detailer.
Sanz's character, Nick — your typical loud, fat, crude movie sidekick with a seemingly endless wardrobe of gaudy shirts — insists that they can meet hot women on a cruise. But they get into a shouting match with the travel agent who's booking their trip and end up on a boat full of muscular men wearing denim Daisy Duke shorts and neatly trimmed mustaches.
It takes them a long time to figure out they're on a gay cruise, too. Hector in the cabin next door, dressed up like Carmen Miranda and organizing a conga line, didn't give them a clue.
But Jerry wants to stay on board after falling for dance instructor Gabriella (Roselyn Sanchez) and must pretend he's gay in order to spend time with her. And Nick wants to stay after the Swedish Sun Tanning Team shows up.
Anyway, you can see where this is going: Jerry's lie will be exposed and he'll have to prove his love to Gabriella. Nick will learn that gay people aren't so bad after all and question his own heterosexuality.
Which brings us back to the initial question: What was Gooding thinking?
"Boat Trip" is rated R for crude sexual humor and sight gags related to sexual functions, occasional use of strong, sexually related profanity, scenes of simulated sex and other sexual contact (done for laughs, mostly), glimpses of partial male nudity and some drug contact (references). Running time: 93 minutes.