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I can't avoid world woes

Bob Lewis says: "I find humor is the best way to deal with idiocy," says Bob Lewis. And Lewis' submission was a hands down winner for January's letter of the month.

A native of Logan, Lewis has taught at St. John's University in New York and Ricks College in Idaho. He ran his own publishing company in San Francisco for 22 years. Lewis recently moved to Utah, where he splits his time between Salt Lake City and Torrey. He is a faithful contributor to several public forums. His wife, Laura, sang a solo with The Tabernacle Choir during the closing ceremonies of the 2002 Winter Olympics.

To Ariana Huffington: I saw your recent commercial showing how those gas-guzzling SUVs aid terrorism, which was very persuasive. So, I immediately went out and sold mine and bought a Hugo. Then I learned that the fetzer valve on my Hugo was actually built in North Korea, and not wanting to have any connection with a country that promotes nuclear weapons, I traded my Hugo for a bicycle. It was the least I could do.

I then discovered the bicycle sprocket was made in Iraq and the rubber in the tires came from Iran. Well, this could mean I was supporting weapons of mass destruction. The bicycle had to go. I began walking everywhere, even to work.

To my amazement I discovered my shoes were made in China, and you know their record on human rights. The shoes went straight to Deseret Industries. I had to stay in the apartment, barefoot, hovering by the wood-burning stove to keep warm until I realized I was just adding to global warming. I shut the stove down and began taking a hot shower every few hours to thaw out, until it dawned on me that this was certainly not helping the severe drought in Utah.

Well, I've lost my job, got kicked out of my apartment and I'm back living in an SUV, though it's old and not as nice as the one I sold to buy the bike. Is it all right to own an SUV if you live in it and don't drive it? Please advise.

Bob Lewis

Salt Lake City